Uncanny Signs Part 1

I've gathered a number of these since my arrival in Japan. Here are a couple of signs and posters you couldn't quite come across back home. Complete with commentary from yours truly!

 1: BE* HoW gOOD
Location: Karaoke Bar
Category: Engrish

This one's a toughie. Most of the time when it comes to Engrish, you can understand what the writer was trying to say. The switching of the caps kind of offends the eye, and the asterisk after the BE makes you want to put emphasis there. BE! BE! BE!

2: KKK
Location: Parked in Ueno
Category: Lost in Translation

Oh no! I wonder if they deliver white robes with pointy hats. Honestly, now, if I were to start a company from scratch, I would at least take the time to look up the name beforehand. Y'know, in  case the company shares its name with another company, or a group of racist nationalists who lynch minorities and burn crosses. You never know!

3: PROHIBIT
Location: A hotel in Ikebukuro
Category: Engrish

I'm pretty sure by that they mean prostitutes. But why "foreign" ladies? Are local whores okay? Or whores who are not waiting on the road?
Is this too specific or not specific enough?

4: Don't Spit on the Conductor
Location: Ueno JR train station
Category: Unnecessary Signalization

I love this one. Is it really necessary to point out that it isn't right to spit on the conductor? Is it because this happens often? I can think of no reason to be this mad at a train conductor. Plus, the idea had never crossed my mind before seeing this poster.
 Also, I love the facial expressions! The rogue with the long hair is all like, "hey, fuck you!" And the conductor's face is all "Oh no, please don't!"
 If someone spat on my face, I'd flinch or close my eyes and shrink back a little. This conductor totally wants to catch the spit in his mouth or something.

5: The Bar Straight
Location: Kyoto
Category: Lost in Translation

I think they had in mind something like "Whiskey, straight up." But instead, this comes off as kind of homophobic, no? It's the Straight Bar. Oops.

Milestone: Month 6

It's time for a Milestone! You can compare to my other milestones by clicking on the Milestone label.

Month 6: Summary

Status:


Job: Children's Fitness Teacher / Afterschool Program Elementary Teacher
Financial status:  Good

Location:


City: Tokyo
Ward: Taito-ku
Train station: Naka-Okachimachi
Residing in: Classico Guesthouse


Cast of Characters:


Major Characters:
Julian "Shank" Einschenk of Germany
Ken "the Frog" Tanaka
Kuniaki "Forest" Mori
Erika Mochizuki (and Maxine!)

Minor Characters:
Fumi, the ex-hostess
Miyamoto "Onii-san"
Takashi "Homoyaro"
Mr Bobby
Kimura-san
Kazuyuki "Kaz" Moriyama
Etsumi (It's-Me) Sugeno
Lisa Fukumoto Fang

Retired Characters:
Anton "Foxboy" Jermaine of England
Rodrigue Zapha of France
Clement Sanchez of France


Top Five Highlights:
(since last time)

- Bar Kagaya
- Kyoto City
- The 50 Kilometer Pilgrimage
- Blossom Gazing
- Mega Chinatown


Still to Come:

- Planking Across Tokyo
- Gundam Cafe
- Studio Ghibli Museum
- Steampunk Wizard of Oz
- Tsukiji Fish Auctions

We're Pilgrims!

Last Friday took Ken and I and two newly acquainted friends through quite an arduous endeavor: a walk around Tokyo's most famous train line: the Yamanote.

 The two other people in question were fellow travelers: Aala, a Tunisian guy based in France, who also regularly updates a blog about his travels (all picture credit goes to him!) And Sofie, a Danish girl who, not unlike myself, came to Japan on a whim to connect with the culture.

The Japan Railways' Yamanote Line is a circular train line that passes through all the most bustling places in the city. The line itself is 35 kilometers long. All mistakes and detours considered, we probably walked 50 kilometers. A pilgrimage, you could say! In the name of what, I don't know.


But it was quite a challenge! We took pictures at every station. Our walking tour started at 9AM at Ueno station, close to where I live, and ended at 10PM, for a total of 13 hours, all stops included.
 Though my experience in hiking and my job as a fitness teacher did help prepare me for the ordeal, the trip took quite a toll on my fellow adventurers, who by the end, seemed to be in various stages of pain varying from numbing fatigue to jarring spasms of agony.

All in all, it was a fun trek filled with good times and all kinds of zaniness. Would I do it again? Sure, but no time too soon, please. Here's a photo gallery! Click on photos to expand!

This photo contains a sneak preview of a project I have planned for the future.

I Have Bubbles

Today a couples of buddies and I decided to walk around the Yamanote train line. We walked 50 kilometers over the course of 13 hours. I'll get into that sometime soon, but let me tell you, it was quite a trek.
 In the meantime, here are pictures of me blowing bubbles, a gift courtesy of a friend I recently made. I had lots of fun blowing them into large crowds of young people.

I also tried to show a kind police officer, but he seemed largely unimpressed with my display. I'm pretty sure I saw a smile creep up the side of his lips, but when I asked if I should continue he shook his head and made a shooing motion with his hand. I told him to have a happy day and went on my merry way.

I bet he was secretly happy.

The Munchkins

My work has recently provided me an opportunity to work at a bonafide elementary school once a week. But it's occurred to me that I've never really went into what it is I actually do on a daily basis. So here it is!
 Note that I can't actually take pictures of the kids. The best I can do is post up pictures of pictures. Eh, whatcha gonna do.
 "My Gym" is a fitness center for kids that actually exists (and originated) in North America. We in the Japan branch also teach all our lessons in English. Groups are separated by age, and contain up to 10 kids (at the gym I usually work at.) Our youngest are 6 weeks old. Our oldest can go up to 13 years (but our current oldest is 8.) We follow a rigid and packed schedule; the kids come in, play a bit, and then gather around as we do introductions, sing a song, do a dance, and then go into gymnastics and so on and so forth. Of course, what types of gymnastics we teach varies by age, and can be as simple as forward rolls and as complicated as front flips.

 Once in a while the gym also hosts events and camps during holidays. The last camp had us going to a zoo.
It's interesting to note that there are actually behavioral differences between Japanese kids and North American kids. Being children, both like to tease. North American kids do so by calling people names, eg: poopy-face, big fat meanie, etc. Japanese kids poke people in the butt and run away.

All in all, I love my job. I relate to the kids more than I do to my coworkers, and it's great to be paid a more-than-fair sum to jump around and play all day long. Granted, it's tiring, and I've lost my voice a number of times already, but I can see myself doing this for quite a long time still.






Last but not least, I'd like to share a drawing one of the kids made of me. Whether she intended that huge black mass on top of my head to be my hair or my hat is up for debate, but it's quite precious regardless.

Gazing at the Blossoms

The concept of Hanami doesn't constitute very solid framework for a casual outing anywhere but in Japan. For a brief two or so weeks of April, the cherry blossoms are in full bloom: Hanami literally means "Flower Watching," an activity undertaken by many different demographics in the country. For some, the blooming of the cherry blossoms, sakura in Japanese, is best enjoyed in the company of a loved one while taking a walk in a park. Others enjoy to drink under the pinkish blossoms. Whatever the intent, though, sakura draws all types of people to the parks during the early days of April.

Most of these pictures were taken late during the season.

Worth 10 points in Koi Koi!

The cherry blossom is also notably Japan's national tree and an important cultural symbol, very relevant to art history within the country. The roots of Hanami are indeed quite deep, drawing from many centuries ago and going on strong until this very day. I think there's something to be appreciated here for everyone, not just Tom Cruise.
 The season for sakura is as beautiful as it is brief, though. Within a matter of days, the pink petals will have all shed and will be replaced by green leaves.

The Best Bar in the World (Revisited)

Yeah, I've covered Kagaya before. It's since become my favorite place to take unsuspecting friends.
 Now, as you may or may not remember, when ordering from the menu in Kagaya, one also chooses from a number of different styles the food is brought to you in. Having frequented the place several times, I've seen all six styles. Without further ado, here they are.

AMERICAN
 Master Kagaya puts up a "wall" illustrating a cartoonish frog, and from behind it, runs a puppet show. We are introduced to the puppet, a frog named "Jack", who tells a story that varies every time the puppet show is done. Suddenly, at the end of the show, Master Kagaya drops the wall and leaps out, dressed in a full-body frog suit. He jumps around the room and screams for a while, and then brings to you your food.




BRAZILIAN
 A samba-like music is played as Master Kagaya bursts out from the storage room with what appears to be a flamboyantly colored octopus on his head. He then shoots party ribbons at all of the patrons, taking special care to aim for people's crotch, and then brings to you your food.

CHINESE
 Master Kagaya, dressed in traditional Chinese attire, leaps over a low counter while screaming at the top of his lungs. He starts punching and kicking in the air, letting out high pitched yelps as he does so, and then brings to you your food.

ENGLISH
 Master Kagaya pulls out a teddy bear dubbed "Paddington," who introduces himself after staring at you awkwardly for several moments. The bear then does a few stretches and attempts to bring you your food, but fails to lift the tray and seems to severely injure his lower back in the process. Master Kagaya, running this puppet show, voice-acts Paddington the Bear's painful ordeal by shrieking in agony.

FRENCH
 Master Kagaya pokes his head out from the storage room wearing a beret. He then eyes up the patron who placed the order, makes a sensual face, and emerges from the storage room with an easel and a stick of charcoal. He then proceeds to draw the patron in loose detail; all this while Les Feuilles Mortes by Yves Montand plays as background music. And then he brings to you your food.

JAPANESE
 The only serious option on the list. Master Kagaya pulls out a paper fan and performs a very traditional Japanese dance; the likes of which are performed by geishas, I believe. His expressions remains utterly serious and concentrated as he performs the dance from start to finish.

A Handyman Briefly

Recently Erika moved and I was invited to help by taking down some walls and demolishing a few things from the old place.
 I was using a power saw and poisonous fumes were rising into my face, so Ken made me a Tupperware face shield thing.
 So here's a picture of me holding a power saw in one hand while wearing a Tupperware on my face.
 I think it exudes manliness.