Kamen Rider: The Diner

I can't go a week at the job without a 4 year old boy yelling at me to "look, look" at their gimmicky toy belt buckle thing with all the stupid buttons and useless lights. Given that they're 4 year old kids, I can forgive them for that toy being the best thing in their life. But it's practically always the same one. Unless it's a train. God damn they love their trains.

Shielded from children's grubby hands.

 So I guess that's the relationship I hold with "Kamen Rider." If you've never heard of that television series, I can forgive you too.
 Kamen Rider is basically Power Rangers or Ultraman with different costumes. It's got a bit of a rock n' roll twist to it in that the titular characters ride motorcycles or something. But you get the idea, masked heroes beating up bad guys with lots of CGI explosions and green screen. Yes, that's still all the rage with the kids in Japan. But Kamen Rider spawned 24 series throughout the course of 40 years, so I guess there's something to be said about that.

It's influenced Japanese boys' television programming so much that there are countless lines of the aforementioned toys, plus a Kamen Rider themed all-girl pop singer group, and, of course, a themed restaurant.

Well the rest of that stuff is all good, but I just wanted to see what the restaurant was like. So I did! Enter Sean and Ken in the land of pre-grade school kids, quietly suffering parents, and the eternal virgins.



Kamen Rider: the Diner is appropriately decked out with toys, life-sized models, television screens showing trailers, and its own gift shop at the entrance. The presentation is pretty representative of the series, I guess, with no shortage of flashy gadget light-up things without much standing around all over the place, but that's not a bad thing at all, and comes as expected. With all its displays, the place reminded me a lot more of the Gundam Front than it did of other themed restaurants.
 But they have a really cool chair at the back of the establishment! With the lighting and whatnot, it's well rigged for a Bond villain picture. So yay for that.
 Food-wise, the dishes are all made to look like the masks of the Kamen Rider characters, which begs the question - how much thought went into the actual taste of the food if they were so intent on making everything look such a specific way? I can't say I really cared to find out. All the items, however, are shown in very good detail in the colorful menus, so one can get a pretty good look of what the place has to offer. They even have alcoholic beverages for parents wanting to drown away the sorrow of being dragged into the place!

This makes us Kamen Riders too or something.

Actually, Ken and I ordered the parfaits, which also are made to look like the characters' faces. Those were alright. But the weird thing is that the waiter made us throw our arms up and say some Kamen Rider thing so that we would get our dessert. I've only ever seen that being done in maid cafes before, and this isn't really one. So that was a little awkward. You'd think that would be a deterrent to other customers from getting desserts at this place. Even the waiter didn't seem to have put his heart into it! Hell, I like to think that it's just something he randomly decided to make us do for kicks.

 Anyway! Kamen Rider: the Diner! Passable food, gimmicky toys, half-hearted waiters and a cool chair!

The Darndest Things II

Another year and another list of amazing quotes from the kids (or about the kids!) at my workplace.

Coworker: It's time for introductions, everyone! I'll start with myself: my name is Mama.
Naoya (4yo): You're not Mama!
Coworker: Why not?
Naoya: Because Mama is, Mama is, Mama is, Mama is, Mama is, Mama is, Mama is a woman.

Daiki (9yo): (While on the high bar) Sensei, get me down!
Sean: Why, Daiki?
Daiki: My penis is all smooshed.

Coworker: So I heard something got smooshed last time, eh Daiki.
Daiki: HAHAHAHAH. *punches another kid in the crotch*

Sean: Jump really high and throw your arms up, like you want to punch the sky.
Yassu (5yo): I can jump so high I go into space.

Sean: This is how you do a proper push-up.
Yassu: I can do a million.

Sean: Okay everyone. This is a challenge round. Let's see who can dive over three bolsters.
Yassu: I can dive over twenty of those.

Khanya (5yo, boy, while cupping his Seongjun's face in his hands): You're beautiful, Seongjun.
Seongjun (5yo, boy): Yeah!

Sean: So if I ever drop by Korea, can I drive your car?
Seongjun: No. I will drive. I will drive when I am 75 years old. And I will die when I am 95 years old.

Nagi (3yo): ROAR.
Sean: Meow.
Nagi: ROAR.
Sean: Woof.
Nagi: ROAR.
Sean: Baaaaaah.
Nagi: ROAR.
Sean: Oink Oink.
Nagi: ROAR.
Sean: Honk.
Nagi: ROAR.
Sean: Toooooot.
Nagi: ROAR.
 This went on for a solid two minutes.

Coworker 1: She's so cute, isn't she? That girl, Nagi.
Sean: Nagi's a boy.

Coworker 2: I told Nagi's mom that she did a good job today.
Sean: Nagi's a boy.
Coworker: What? Shit!

Sean: Good boy, Nagi!
Ayumi (4yo): You're silly. Nagi's a girl.
Sean: Nagi's a boy.
(Nagi's mother looking dissatisfied in the corner.)

Coworker: Hey! What's your name?
Kazuto (4yo): Triceratops! (runs away.)

(Kazuto pushes his friend, who falls face first and lies on the mat crying.)
Sean: Kazuto, he's your friend. We don't hurt our friends, right?
Kazuto: (Goes on his knees and presses his butt against the wall as high as possible) I don't have any friends!

Sean: Who wants to try this first?
Maria (10yo): Me please!
Sean: Alright, let's go, Maria.
Maria: Oh, no...I thought Daiki would say it louder. I don't actually wan-
Sean: Oh just do it.
Maria: That's sad.

Maria: Wingardium Leviosuh.
Sean: It's "Leviosaaaahh."
Maria: Wait, you know about that video? It's disgusting.
Sean: What video?
Maria: Wait, oh, never mind.
Sean: Swish and flick.
Maria: So you do know!
Sean: What?
Maria: Wait...what? Never mind.
I totally know about the video.

 

Kit Kat Korner

When the world's first Kit Kat store (as in, the chocolate), popped up on my radar a few months ago, I was pretty thrilled! Awesome, right? A store dedicated to one of the world's favorite chocolate bars, right in Tokyo! I was pretty stoked.
 The idea might seem strange, but what you might not understand is that Kit Kat is hell of big here in the Land of the Rising Sun. They're considered lucky, even! "Kit Kat" sounds very close to the Japanese way of saying "Certain Victory." There's a space on the back of the chocolate bar where you can write "to" and "from". Japan's even got exclusive flavors, and, believe it or not, strawberry and green tea are amongst the most common of the special varieties.
 So you can imagine my delight going to the Kit Kat store! I had in mind to try a whole bunch of the crazier ones. Apple and pineapple and whatnot. And, lo and behold! Here's the Kit Kat Chocolatory!

And...that's about it! It's literally just what you see in that picture. Not a huge amount of different ones to choose from, I'm afraid. They just feature three flavors at a time and change it once in a while. There was chili pepper and cream cheese when I went. Well shit, it's not like I wanna go every month and pick up the new ones one at a time.
 So that's the Kit Kat store. You can either go, or not! It won't make much of a difference in your day, let alone your life, I'm afraid.

An Hour at the Sanja Festival

 It came as a near miss this year too. With all my attention focused on the move, I came close to forgetting about one of the biggest festivals in Tokyo - the Sanja Matsuri. By the time I managed to free myself to get there, the big event was all but over, but I did manage to catch some of the magic of the festivities.

 Sanja Matsuri is held in honor of the three founding priests of the Sensoji Temple in Asakusa, and is celebrated through the worship of three portable mikoshi shrines, over the course of three days. The first day (a Friday) is dedicated to dance, the second (Saturday) to the 100 lesser shrines, and the third (Sunday) to the three main shrines. It's a wild, bustling affair and certainly is crowded, with an estimated 2 million visitors coming in during the combined three days of the festivities.

 I unfortunately caught only the very end of said festivities, having shown up on Sunday evening, but managed nevertheless to catch sight of an important event - the return of the main mikoshi to Sensoji Temple, hoisted upon the backs of men and women chanting as they carried it back to its starting point.

 Against the light of the Sky Tree in the night sky, it's a good reminder of the sharp contrast between modern times and tradition in Japan. I couldn't help but feel inspired by the chants of the mikoshi carriers, heard from such a long distance away and echoed by the surrounding crowd, as they marched towards and eventually through the kaminarimon - the thunder gates. Really, it sounds as epic as it looks.

 I followed them a certain distance through said gates and the musical float too, with the musicians inside banging drums and piping flutes. One of the musicians even had a little girl on her lap, who no doubt will be expected to carry the tradition through one day.

 Unfortunately, I can't go without saying that I did miss the best of Sanja Matsuri, which is also known for having yakuza transporting their own mikoshi on the second day of the festival while displaying their tattoos to the public (a rare occurrence), and its Geisha performances ranking among some of the best in Japan.
I'm crossing my fingers, though, and hoping I won't get sidetracked from next year's festivities.

Leaving the Fort

The time has finally come for me to bid farewell to Hermit Fortress, and to step into my spacier, more luxurious apartment in Senkawa!
 I'll be sure to share pictures of the new apartment, something I very seldom did previously. It's got a very modern, almost artsy feel to it, you'll see. I've been shopping for furniture and deco. I'm cut out to make this place look like a proper lair, with giant frames on the walls and whatnot. I think it'll be fun to live in.
 In the meanwhile, though, it may be a while before I set up a proper internet connection, so updates may slow down until I'm fully settled.
 But moving to a new part of Tokyo allows easier access to a whole bunch of different things, and I'm pretty excited to go check out some of the zanier things I've only ever heard of and never had a chance to see in my new area.

A Quick Look at Enoshima

On Basil's last full day in Tokyo, we opted for a visit to Kamakura, and stumbled upon the chance to rent bicycles, allowing us to hit all the major attractions in record time and go out a little farther than I had had the chance to previously. And, as it so happens, just a 20 minute bike ride out of Kamakura is the fairly well-known Enoshima, which I've been recommended to visit time and time again.

Enoshima's a small yet well known island connected to land by means of a long bridge. It enjoys a fair number of Japanese tourists, in great part due to its beaches, but also because it's a pretty scenic getaway spot, and it's fairly close to Tokyo.
 The center of Enoshima is quite elevated, with a number of residences and shops at its bottom, soon giving way to temples (the most notable one being the Enoshima Shrine, almost a straight line from the main bridge), and a number of touristy attractions at the top.
 If you happen to be a lazy ass (or have a genuine handicap), there are even a few escalators to bring you to the top, for a price - a concept I was unaware even exited.

Once at the summit, though, a wide open plaza awaits, complete with Enoshima's trademark watchtower, allowing you to gaze out at the sea. The number of visitors also brings around performers on sunny days, which are a nice way to relax and kill time.
 Obviously, this is merely the island in a nutshell, and I have been informed that there are a number of other things to do on the island, such as relax on rocky plates in the ocean, or go spelunking in caves where there are Buddhist statues. Given the time, I'll definitely have another visit!

Western Village - The Theme Park That Was

When it comes to Haikyo, I usually opt for the overnight option. I'm comfortable going at it in the dark, away from the eyes of those who would think me suspicious. But I admit there are sometimes when the place in question is too interesting, or unique not to see in the light of day. Let me take you through my first time exploring an abandoned theme park. This is Western Village.

Millo, myself, Nana, Basil.

 Coming along with me for the trip this time around are a few familiar faces. There's Basil, my guest here in Tokyo (who, by the time this has been posted has returned to Canada), but also Millo and Nana, who have each been to one of my previous raids (Kappa Hotel and Nichitsu Ghost Town respectively.) It's a fun team and one I'm glad was willing to trail along on this crazy adventure.
 Going in, I knew close to nothing about the Western Village theme park - but I did know where to find it. Geographically speaking, it's only one train station away from Kinugawa, where the Kappa Hotel was located, in the mountainous Tochigi prefecture. I had a picture of Google Maps to guide me.
 Getting into Western Village was not an issue. All it took was a little climbing and we were already in - and in a place so deep in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, there was no risk of any one seeing us. And once we were in, the fun was set to begin.

That's the old Georgia state flag! No racism intended!

They're kinda dorky looking.

 Western Village was a theme park that delivered on exactly what its name implied. Just as the nearby Edomura theme park (which is still running) is based on the Japan of the olden days, Western Village mirrored it in being based on America's Wild West.
 In its heyday, cowboys strolled around, interacting with the park's visitors. Animatronic puppets, powered by pistons and other sorts of clockwork, could be spotted inside practically every one of the park's numerous buildings. And they still can, though they haven't moved since 2007.

 The beautiful thing about Western Village in its state of abandonment is that everything that could've been taken away has been kept exactly where it was by the park's staff. Of course, this is nothing unusual when it comes to Haikyo, but this is a theme park. It was nothing short of amazing to open a door and find what could have easily been 30 to 40 different costumes strewn about the room, dusty, but otherwise completely undamaged by the elements or moth or rat. It was time to dress up.

Everything we needed to take these pictures were found on spot.

 A light reflecting screen here, a fire extinguisher there, and as many props as we wanted to use.
There were so many combinations possible and I felt like I could have spent hours dressing up with the team and taking zany pictures. The park was ours - where else would we have ever been able to shoot off fire extinguishers just for the sake of creating the haze we needed for a nice shot? Haikyo is a thing of beauty. Hell, I even dressed up as one of the park's mascots. That costume was intact too.
We found the largest building in Western Village to be a large hall full of two meter tall teddy bears, standing around and wearing all sorts of patriotic clothing. Stars and stripes in abundance, really. The second floor was filled with what was once fare games, and the third was somewhat of an Indian (as in, Native American) museum. But upon exiting the building through the other side, we came upon Western Village's defining feature: an enormous replica of Mount Rushmore. The entire thing was hollow rather than made of stone, and it's only truly dawning upon me as a write how much effort must have gone into the opening and maintenance of this park that would eventually just be abandoned and left to sit in silence.
 I resolved to do yet another thing that couldn't be done if the park were still running today, and stood upon the head of George Washington victoriously.

God I feel like I've lived.

 Western Village may not be as immense as Disney Land or FujiQ Highland, but it's no tiny little fairground either. Arcades, gigantic dining halls, a haunted house, watchtowers, a ranch, a kids' train line, and a mini-golf course are all included in the package, and that's really just the half of it. It's no wonder our day went by so fast.
 In the end, though, it doesn't take a genius to guess what did the park in - location, location, location. Take into consideration that the two aforementioned theme parks are both much closer to Tokyo than Western Village was. With such powerful competitors, how could this theme park ever hope to stay in business while operating from a tiny town in Tochigi prefecture? Kids will choose Disney over cowboys any day of the week, and this park used to count only on its theme to tide visitors over. Notice that there are no roller coasters or thrill rides in Western Village. The place probably ran into debt and stumbled into bankruptcy shortly after.
 Looking only at the facts, it may not be long until the neighboring Edomura park finds the same problems. And I may chance to climb upon its remains after the fall.