Interesting Tidibits: By Japanese Law

It wasn't until recently that dancing in public venues was illegal in Japan. DJ's and common folk were getting thrown into cells for getting a little too groovy, and clubs had to purchase expensive permits allowing people to dance. Woo! Fun was a big no-no in Japan, yes it was. Fortunately, that law's gone now. But it got me thinking - if such a ridiculous law existed in Japan in the first place, could there be other laws just as ridiculous? Let's open the book of Japanese laws and find out.

 THE DUMBEST LAWS IN JAPAN

I. IF AN OLDER BROTHER ASKS TO MARRY YOUR GIRLFRIEND, BY HONOR AND LAW, YOU, AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND, MUST AGREE.

Good god, someone ought to fix this. Granted, this law is probably simply terribly outdated, and no one has made use of this in recent times, but doesn't this mean someone potentially could pull this off with a good enough lawyer? If anything, it could just turn into the ballsiest prank of all time.

II. WOMEN ARE LEGALLY OBLIGED TO WEAR A BRA IN A BUILDING WITH AIR CONDITIONING.

Most likely has to do with men ogling said women's chests in the workplace? A little sexist, no? I mean, there's nothing preventing men from going commando, is there?

III. THERE IS NO AGE OF CONSENT.

Wrong on so many levels. 

IV.  THE MAXIMUM WAIST SIZE IS 33 FOR MEN AND 35 FOR WOMEN.

Specifically, 33.5 and 35.4. No, they won't throw you in jail for being too fat, but Japan passed a law a few years ago forcing men and women over that specified size to undergo counseling. Employers at the time faced serious fines if they could not reduce the number of overweight employees at the job by a certain amount. Seems a little harsh, considering Japan's currently the leanest world superpower.

V. THE IMPORTING OF PHOTOGRAPHS DEPICTING MALE GENITALIA IS ILLEGAL.

This one's a little bit of a conundrum. Genitalia in general is subject to censor in Japan, but why is it only illegal to import photos of male genitalia?

 

Interesting Tidbits: The App That Took Japan By Storm

Chances are you've never heard of Line if you've never traveled to Japan. Personally, I don't even have own a smart phone, so all of this is pretty much irrelevant to me - but you can expect a little bit of dismay from the locals if you tell them you don't have Line.

A Line sticker pack.

 Simply put, Line's an instant messaging application for the most part, though it also allows users to exchange photos, video, and conduct voice conversations and conference messaging too. In a nutshell, it's very similar to Skype. But what Line brought to the messaging applications scene was "stickers" - allowing users to express their emotions through original or existing character sticker sets that are easily downloadable for free or at a cost. You could, for example, download a Sponge Bob set or whatnot. And though emoticons have existed since the dawn of freaking time, stickers, which function in the exact same way, allowed for more personalized messages.

From the Line Shop. I kind of stand out from these guys.

As a matter of fact, on the grand scheme of things, Line's popularity sort of exploded over night and its growth became exponential. And though that's sort of where things are on the smartphone app development side, Line's kind of reached a whole other level. Not only do Line's original characters now have their own iOS game, but Line now has its own store in Harajuku. I dropped by to have a look, and it seems to be doing well on top of that! Just think about that for a second. How the hell did a communications application get to the point where it now manages to sell physical good? If you were to open a Skype shop, what would you even sell in it? Well, given the nature of Line and its mass appeal, it kind of figures that it would manage to market its characters using only the power of its brand. And I still can't quite wrap my head around an app turning into a brand. But it's happening.
 Does Line have a chance in the world outside of Japan? There are probably people who have a better idea of that than I do, but apparently, people are hearing of it in Korea and China, so who knows. But I do wonder if I'll ever encounter it in North America, be in this Summer when I return, or in the years to come.

Interesting Tidbits: The 8 Most Blatant Misconceptions About Japan

I remember bumping into an old acquaintance of mine during one of my yearly visits to my hometown of Montreal. It had been a while, so we cued in the cookie-cutter questions: how've you been, what've you been up to, and the like. When I told him I was living in Japan, he promptly threw in a "Whoa, cool. Do you see ninjas sometimes?" To which I replied, "Yeah man, all the time."
 Only after we parted ways did it occur to me that the guy was actually serious.
 Now hold on! I'm not under the impression that most people think there are still ninjas running around here, but man, there are a lot of misconceptions about Japan. I thought I'd clear up a few.

1. Japanese Don't Eat Sushi Everyday

That's right. Just like Americans don't eat hamburgers everyday. For the most part. Sushi's kind of one of those things people treat themselves to occasionally. I've met quite a few people here who are skilled in the kitchen, but not once have I heard of or seen a Japanese person make sushi at home. On the other hand, I know a whole bunch of people in Canada who have tried to make it themselves or do so on a semi-regular basis. Surprised? It could just be that the average sushi-lover in America eats more sushi than the average sushi-lover in Japan.


2. Japanese Don't Eat Whales Everyday
Or dolphin for that matter. Whale is a rare delicacy akin to snake in North America in terms of how commonly it might be eaten. I've only ever stumbled upon one or two places that serve whale in Tokyo, and absolutely none that serve dolphin. Yeah, sure, whaling boats aren't fiction, but the reality of it is, mainland Japanese people generally don't care for the meat of aquatic mammals. Who would've thought, eh?

3. Japanese Don't Kill Themselves All the Time
Alright, the whole seppuku thing might have brought the stereotype down on the country, but it turns out that, no, Japanese people in general aren't as eager to off themselves as the trope goes. Japan actually comes in 7th worldwide. That's pretty high, but not quite even the highest in Eastern Asia. That medal would actually go to South Korea, which has more or less 30% more suicide than Japan, and comes in 3rd in the world.

4. Not All Japanese are into Anime
 I've had people I know be asked what they think of a certain obscure anime. Surprise! What's obscure abroad is also likely to be obscure over here. Although it does come to be expected that there would be lots of followers here in the birthplace of the art-form, there are heaps of people of all ages who just don't give a damn about anime. Just like Canadians with hockey, French with croissants and Russians with furry hats. You can't get 'em all.

5. Japanese TV isn't that great.
I've written a whole article about how Japanese TV isn't what it's cut out to be. It's not all quirky game shows and daring pranks. Long story short, yes, even here I flip through the channels and complain that there's nothing good on. Even more often than I did back home, actually.

6. Japan-Only Video Games Are Kinda Lame
If you're a bit of geek like myself, you might've wandered at one point or another if Japan has a bunch of kick-ass video games you might be missing out on unless you import them for ridiculous prices. Suffice it to say that, no, actually, you're not missing out on anything neat. All those video games about your favorite anime series are actually mostly visual-novel type games, which is to say they're like digital books, but with pictures that change very occasionally and a random decision thrown in here or there. If that's your thing, then that's all good too, but generally speaking it's nothing to get excited about.  Unless you're a fan of Gundam. In which case you actually are missing out on lots of shit.

7. Geisha are scarce

 If you came to Japan with a list of things to do that included seeing geisha, well you're in tough luck. Geisha are extremely scarce. There are really, really few places that will put on a geisha performance for you in Tokyo, to the point where even most Japanese people will go through most of their lives without even seeing one performance. Kyoto, which is much more rooted in tradition than Tokyo is, has quite a few more practitioners of the art, but you'd have to pay a pretty coin to get a chance to witness it there, too. I lucked out, and had a chance to catch a show during Aala's wedding, but I'm pretty confident that'll be the last one I'll ever see.

8. Japanese People Don't Often Wear the Kimono
 As pretty as they are, kimono are actually just a one or two times a year thing, usually. You'll find yourself kind of standing out if you wear such traditional clothes on your average day. The kimono is most often used for celebrating something, such as a marriage or coming-of-age day, when girls turn 20. If anything, the yukata is more common and is more likely to be spotted on a Summer day during festivals.

And there you have it really. Hopefully my list will prevent one or two white guys from saying something embarrassing to their nearest Japanese person. Feel free to add to my list if you have your own!

Interesting Tidbits: The Local Pass-Time

A picture taken by Millo of your typical box style room.

Actually, the number one local pass-time is probably drinking. But karaoke comes pretty damn close! Yes, just like many other Asian countries, Japan's goes ape when it comes to karaoke. The word itself, by the way, is Japanese in origin. Karaoke's been such a regular part of my life in Japan (and even beforehand) that I've forgotten how foreign the concept is to westerners. Back home, it wouldn't really fly, I think, if I got a bunch of my guy friends together and invited them to go singing. It just isn't seen as a manly thing to do? I don't know.
 But here, it suits just about everyone. Young people. Old people. Boys and girls, and couples and groups of friends. It's an affordable way to kill a few hours.
 Going back to the basics, though, there are a few ways Asian karaoke differs from the commonly seen western karaoke bars, where people queue up to stand and sing on a stage in a bar, with often mixed results. Here in Japan, you're entitled to a little more privacy. It's simple though. First, you rock up to the front desk of any karaoke parlor - and trust me, it's rather hard not to stumble upon one in Tokyo. You put in your name and the number of individuals partaking, input an amount of time you expect to be spending, and you get a room number. Every individual group gets a room, blocked off from the others, complete with karaoke machine, television screen, microphones and shitty sounding tambourines, and you just pick your songs and belt it out! A lot less embarrassing, wouldn't you say?

The song selection is pretty wide, too. Of course, you're more likely to find the Japanese songs you're looking for, but the English selection is rather generous as well, with most billboard topping hits being on there, as well as anything well enough known from the last decade down.
 If that sounds fun to you and you're nowhere near Japan, then you can rejoice in the fact that there are probably a few such karaoke parlors in your neighborhood too. My first karaoke experience was actually in Montreal, where I later found out that there were four different such places. Granted, they're a little harder to find (they're usually secluded into a basement of some sort) but they function more or less the same way! You'll know you're in one if there's an Asian woman at the front desk. There always is.

Interesting Tidbits: Other Resources

Not a recent picture.

I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, but my friends and coworkers in Tokyo have come to know me as that one guy who knows about all the interesting things going on in town. The truth is, I do spend a lot of time in front of a computer, often just digging for places I haven't been to or new shop openings and events and the like. That being said, there are lots of places I have in my sights but haven't yet had a chance to visit, and don't know when I likely will. Japan, and Tokyo in particular, is choke full with places just begging for the attentions of curious people to check out, and with the right resources, they're all within grasp.
 You ready? It feels like I'm blowing the lid off of a huge secret. Here are the websites I use to keep track of the best of what's happening around me. You can access each site by clicking on their respective logos.

1. Time Out Tokyo
Time Out has great lists of 50-100 things to do in each area of Tokyo (amongst other cities across the world too.) The website also features a "what to do today in Tokyo" section that keeps track of the location, price and beginning and end dates of all major events happening in and around town, ranging from small shows to major festivals. It's also a great website to look for unique places to eat.

2. Tokyo Cheapo
Ken presented this website to me two years ago and I've been making good use of it since. Tokyo Cheapo, as the name implies, is based entirely on budget-saving exploration. The site keeps me up to date on the cheapest ways to get from place to place, where to stay, and what to eat. But my favorite thing about Tokyo Cheapo is that they also list a bunch of free or cheap things to do which can (almost) only be done on the upcoming weekend. I get lots of ideas from this Tokyo Cheapo.

3. Japan-Guide.com
Japan-Guide is my greatest tool when it comes to getting out of town. I use it to plan my road-trips and scope out different areas and cities. The website offers a map of Japan, with each of the provinces' and cities' having their respective attractions listed if you click on them. With the help of Japan-Guide, I was able to plan last year's roadtrip to Takayama from start to finish, baring in mind not only the destination, but everything interesting along the way too.

4. 100 Tokyo
The youngest addition to the websites I use, 100 Tokyo allows me to keep an eye on all the smaller venues that would usually pass under my radar. There's nothing fancy or extraordinary that 100 Tokyo brings to my attention which the other websites don't, but I use it to keep tabs with the quainter little shops that offer pockets of unique products, or the small, strange cafes that are unknown to all but a few.

5. Rocket News 24
Rocket News 24 is more of a news outlet than a website dedicated to tourism, but what they excel at is keeping track of all the weirdest, most outlandish news in Asia, with 70% of it being from Japan. I knew it from Rocket News when a strange new themed restaurant opens in Tokyo, or other such stories. Although the quality of the journalism here is sometimes questionable, it's hard not to admire the fact that an average of 5-10 articles are published a day. I check morning and night, and often several times in between.

Protip: If you're interested in the resources I used to settle in Japan as opposed to exploring, you can find those here.

Interesting Tidbits: In the Blood

Though astrology and Chinese zodiac is pretty much known all over the world, Japan has its own form of divination - in blood. In just about the same way astrology claims to be able to tell a person's personality through the stars they were born under, it's a rather commonplace belief in Japan that you can read personality through blood. Hence why Japanese Facebook will ask you for your blood type!
 Does it hold together? Have a look for yourself. Here's what is said about the four major blood groups (I guess all you HH guys will have to figure it out on your own.)

A BLOOD GROUP:

Best traits	Earnest, creative, sensible, reserved, patient, responsible
Worst traits	Fastidious, over-earnest, stubborn, tense

B BLOOD GROUP:

Best traits	Passionate, active, doer, creative, wild, strong
Worst traits	Selfish, irresponsible, unforgiving, erratic

AB BLOOD GROUP

Best traits	Cool, controlled, rational, sociable, adaptable
Worst traits	Critical, indecisive, forgetful, irresponsible, "split personality"

O BLOOD GROUP

Best traits	Confident, self-determined, optimistic, strong-willed, intuitive
Worst traits	Self-centered, cold, doubtful, unpredictable, "workaholic"

 
Apparently, Rh (whether you're A+ or A-, for example,) doesn't affect your reading.
All in all, I can see how it would make sense that something as hereditary as the blood running through your veins can affect personality more than anything else, but I personally find it a little odd to state that there are only 4 types of people in the world. OR maybe that's just me being earnest and stubborn! A penny for your thoughts!

Interesting Tidbits: Gaijin Radiance

I'd like to share some musings I've had. It may or may not be interesting at all, but I'll put it up here anyway.
Almost three years ago now, I posted about how gaijin exhibit certain effects where ever they go in Japan. I referred to these effects as super powers. Looking back, in most part, I can't say my opinion has changed all that much (though I have exceptionally been proven wrong a few times.)
 But I do want to touch upon something that's occurred to me lately, concerning "Gaijin Radiance". Three years ago, I described it as so:

 If you speak English, you are capable of Gaijin Radiance. Use it. Go to a social event and speak to people in English. If they don't know how to answer you, apologize and find someone else. But if they do speak some English, well, you're suddenly more interesting than before. You're a radiant, mysterious foreigner who'll sweep 'em off their feet and take them to amazing places.

Work picture from quite a while ago.

Lately, though, I've been thinking about that. There are quite a few Japanese people who are very willing to go out of their way to talk to foreigners - and apparently, Tokyo observes this the least of all places in Japan. What I mean is, "Gaijin Radiance" happens twice as much outside of Tokyo than it does inside, where chances of encountering a foreigner are higher.
 The first time I went to practice tricking with Millo, we were instantly approached by enthusiastic high school students who absolutely wanted to befriend us, add us on facebook, and more importantly, practice their English with us. Even just last week, I was sitting on a bench with two work mates when a 78 year old woman came at us smiling, pointing at my American co-worker and saying "what a beautiful face he has! What a high nose bridge he has!"

 Why do some Japanese people go to such an extent to meet and talk to foreigners?
 From what I figure, it's all a matter of "seizing chances."
 You see, Japan is mostly a homogenous country, in terms of its population. According to most numbers, at least 90% of the population of Japan is Japanese. Yeah I know, it's a pretty basic statement to say that "Japanese people are interested in foreigners because there aren't that many." But think on that number - 90% is pretty damn considerable.

Akihabara at night.

 In their lifetime, most Japanese people will absolutely never even have the chance to make a close foreign friend at all, no matter how hard they want to. The average Japanese citizen flows directly from high school to university to a company. And here are the places where you hardly have a chance to meet English-speaking foreigners: Japanese high schools, universities, and companies.
 If you add in the fact that a very high amount of Japanese young adults express at least some interest in traveling, that can come across as a pretty sad reality. So all in all, maybe if you do meet a Japanese person who's interested in befriending you, it may be par for course to think of it as a chance to make a real difference in that person's life. Like I'm one to speak, I know - I've hardly put myself out there and built deep friendships with non-English-speaking Japanese people, in large part due to my own language insecurities. But the more I think about it, the more I see it as something benefiting both parties, set aside the initial awkwardness.
 It's all just food for thought. 

Interesting Tidbits: Fun With Toilets

Most of my friends who've come to Japan has expressed surprise at the different kinds of toilets there are here. "What?", you say. "There's more than one kind of toilet?" Yes. Yes there is. Here's a quick guide. Emptying your bladder may never be a chore again!
 Nope, actually you still have to empty your bladder. But here!



 - THE CLASSIC

 Features:
  - Well, you can poop in it.


Alright, no one actually calls it "the classic." But if you're a westerner, your choice is pretty much this or a bush. It's a regular toilet, I've nothing to explain here.






- THE SQUAT TOILET

 Features:
- The squatting position allows you to empty your bowels easier.
- Don't fall backwards.

You can actually find these in many other countries than just Japan. They're basically a hole in the ground. I know lots of people who abhor these and avoid them at all costs. They're kind of archaic?




- THE WASHLET

Features:
- The temperature of the seat can be adjusted.
- Can be made to play a sound when you flush.
- Water jet with controlled intensity and direction.

The washlet is Japan's ultimate bathroom robot thing. It's basically toilet 2.0, and it's been drawing gasps from foreigners for years now. It's incredibly satisfying to sit down and not have to worry about freezing your cheeks.


And there you have it, Japan's three types of toilets! Go collect them all or something!

Interesting Tidbits: Japanese Television

I remember setting foot in Tokyo for the very first time, and the adrenaline rush of walking into the outside air and not knowing anything. I didn't even know the directions to my hotel, New Koyo, and just threw the address to a cab driver, and it all worked out. I collapsed upon the hotel futon, and turned on the room's small television.
 And, lo and behold, what came on was wrestling amongst the disabled. The blind versus the man with one arm! And so on. I was amazed at the censor-less entertainment.
 Some clips from Japanese television shows went viral in North America. Quirky game shows that look like something out of a video game, or terrible pranks that would get people sued on spot. Here are some examples, just for good measure. The former, then the latter.

Wow, you would think. Going by these, Japanese television would kind of be the pinnacle of entertainment.
Actually, and, rather unfortunately, for the most part Japanese television is...pretty normal. And normal television, regardless of where you are, is pretty boring.
Even just flipping through the channels, you can't help but notice almost trope-like similarities in the programming. Television here has its own set of rules. Here, let me turn my television on right now and give you a good example.

REACTION SHOTS: Look at the picture to the right. Notice the faces in the corner; those are people who are famous to at least some extent. During a segment, a live feed of their reaction as they watch the same thing you're watching is visible in a corner.
 My take of it is that, in Japanese culture, the norm is to do what other people do and think what other people think, at least to some extent.
And having someone else's reaction within sight kind of gives you an idea of what your own should be? It's a guess, and yours is as good as mine. Otherwise, reaction shots are pretty useless.
BIG, COLORFUL SETS: Even the blaaaaandest of talk shows is decked out in useless colorful trinkets and flamboyant furniture. It gives this really candy-like look to all the sets. "Hey!" it screams at your eyes. "Stop flipping the channels!"
OVERUSE OF CAPTIONS: For emphatic purposes as well. Notice both pictures have this big bold font right where you can see it. That font isn't providing you any real information, actually. It literally repeats what the person speaking just said. God, how aggressive!
OVER-ACTED EVERYTHING:
Whether it be a talk show or a drama, everything on Japanese television is frighteningly overacted - at least to my western tastes. Talk show hosts blow up their reactions to the slightest surprise - "WHOOAAAA!" and "EEEEHH!!?" are the kind of thing you're likely to hear six times a minute.
Most of the drama shows also lack in subtlety, with audible, campy music tracks and overplayed crying and anger scenes and cartoon-like expressions. Whereas I feel like all dramas in western television have entered an age of gritty realism where everything has to be cold and serious, Japan's stuck in the early 90's, but with HD.

 D'aww, I didn't mean to disillusion you about how entertaining Japanese TV is. Once in a while you do get something genuinely entertaining. Like that one time they created a living room half-made of sweets and made people try to eat what they thought was fake!

-What do you like to do in kindergarten?

- Poop...

I can't claim to be an expert on Japanese television at all, and without the outside perspective, it's hard to tell whether, to the eyes of a foreigner, western television falls into such redundant tropes as well. But for the most part, it took me a very short time to lose all interest in Japanese TV.
 I have the basic set of channels offered by cable now, and that's free, thank God, but I can count the total hours I've spent watching television on the fingers on one hand. It just ain't for me!

Interesting Tidbits: Masks

 It's sick season, folks, and at work, I'm the last man standing. I'm the only one of the instructors at work not to have gotten either of the seasonal flu or the God-cursed stomach flu that turns your bowels to goop and makes you shit, vomit, or both simultaneously for days at a time. A coworker of mine spent long hours sitting on the porcelain throne with her face in a bucket. It's almost poetic.
 To top it off, hay fever is coming about, with symptoms very similar to that of a regular cold. I've never had pollen allergies, but the local pollen and Canadian pollen are quite different, and allergies can develop. So I find myself either a victim to hay fever or the common cold. 
 Hence the mask.
 Unless you work at a hospital, you don't really see these much in North America, do you? And certainly not from someone who's already sick. Japan's quite different.

There are a number of reasons people could be wearing a flu-mask here.
- You're avoiding sickness.
- You're sick.
- You're keeping the bottom of your face warm.
- You've got a nasty pimple.
 Yo, I'm serious! Those are the main reasons. You'd think the first would be obvious, but the others are almost inconceivable in the western world, right?
 Being sick is actually the main reason for wearing the mask. Simply put, in this city where personal space can sometimes be hard to come by, it's common courtesy here to try your best not to spread your germs around. Covering your mouth with your hand while sneezing just puts them on your hand and contaminates the things you touch. Sneezing into your sleeve is kind of gross. Handkerchiefs are kind of dated. Just sneeze into the mask!
 And given that one person out of, I'd say, six, right now is wearing one of these, it's kind of easy for people who want to keep warm or hide their facial hygiene problems to just wear one too without looking strange. Simple enough, eh?

Interesting Tidbits: Gaijin Eat Gaijin

Most of my friends in Japan are Gaijin - that is to say, foreigners. I have a handful who aren't, but they're a minority. Moreover, they're almost all fluent English speakers who have been raised atypically from Japanese norm. I've met my foreigner friends through others, or through work, but never simply by approaching one and trying to establish a friendship. The prospect of that isn't very interesting to me at all.
That's because I'm a Gaijin-Eating Gaijin. And I'm one of many. It's a little bit of a phenomenon, let me explain to you how it works.

From the Yamanote Line Walk!

You see, like many other Gaijin, I've come to Japan to get a whiff of something new, different from what my life had been like until then. And so far, so good, I'm still loving it here. Culture, food, and sights, everything really, but people especially. The Japanese as a lot are a hard-working people with high standards - so much so that service when it comes to just about anything is incomparable with what you get elsewhere. If you're a paying customer, you're just about God.
 You could say the same about daily life, really. People are respectful enough that you don't ever have a bad day just because some random person decided to be a dick to you. As crowded as downtown Shinjuku is, for instance, you won't get shoved by someone in a hurry.
 But you see, Gaijin have a different set of standards than the Japanese common-folk do, I'm afraid, when it comes to manners and littering for one, but, gasp, I'm gonna say it, a more likely tendency towards crime in general. Was that racist? I'm a Gaijin too. Canadian, by nationality, I'll remind you.
 I tend to avoid Roppongi like I would a pool full of AIDS. I used to go clubbing in Tokyo quite frequently, and, if you like a fun night out I'd recommend it to you too, but all my favorite clubs were outside of Roppongi - Shibuya, Ebisu, and Ageha in Shin-Kiba. Why? Because Roppongi is foreigner turf, man. Everything I liked about clubbing in Tokyo doesn't apply to clubs in Roppongi - they're just worlds trashier. You're more likely to get shoved and cussed out or something, and frankly, if I wanted that, I would've just stayed and clubbed in Montreal. And it's not the Japanese people doing the shoving either.
 Well maybe that's petty, you say. But even that aside, the American Embassy issues warnings about Roppongi. People don't get robbed or killed or assaulted in Tokyo - but when they do it's usually in Roppongi! Who'd have guessed! Me. And it's unsurprising.
 But you know, it has a lot to do with rivalry too. In a room full of Japanese and one other foreigner, I'm always eyeing that guy, seeing if he's up to no good. Maybe he's doing the same. Usually it ends up he's just a pretty normal dude.
 And I'm staunch when it comes to defending this country against Japan-bashers. I'm usually the first one to wonder out loud why the person doesn't just go home when they finish complaining about the country (and once they leave the table.)
 The bottom-line is, I like Japan to be its own thing. I like my coworkers and my friends too, but Japanese society as a whole is a beautiful thing that works well on its own. Yeah, there are flaws, too. I can write articles about the things that don't work as well, but I like Japan better when people aren't turning it into something else. When in Rome, right?

Interesting Tidbit: Convenience Stores

Over a month ago I made a list of things I loved about Japan. Right on top of that list, the first thing I could think of, were Japanese convenience stores - or combini as they're called here. No, seriously. You just don't understand how freaking awesome they are.

7/11. Lawson. Family Mart. Sunkus. Circle K.
Some of these you recognize as existing in other countries, but in Japan, they've long since claimed their own independence by buying themselves free from their foreign owners. They're the first thing I'll miss if I ever leave Japan for a long period of time. Hell, I miss them when I leave Japan for a short amount of time. Shit, I walk into a convenience store at least once a day. Wanna know why?

1. To Get Some Cash
Combinis have ATMs, and I can't be assed to look for a bank every time I need to make a withdrawal.

2. To Get Some Food
 Unlike their American counterparts, convenience store food in Japan is actually pretty good, packed in cheap priced lunch sets that are fresh of the day. Of course, they also sell snacks in abundance. I probably eat something or another from a convenience store once a day.

3. To Take a Dump
Combinis have public bathrooms. In a pickle? Walk in, do your thing, walk out. No one's gonna look at you weird, you don't need to buy anything, you don't need a key or some retarded thing like that.

4. To Read Comics
Well I don't really get a chance to do this because I'm still illiterate. But lots of people just go straight for the magazine rack and spend their dead time reading the comic books. There's also, always, without fail, a section dedicated to porn.

5. To Pay My Bills
Combinis also offer a service where you can just walk in with your bills (electric, gas, water, etc) and just pay them off right there, with cash money. I personally find it to be the easiest way to pay mine.

Now that's what I call convenient.

Interesting Tidbits: 10 Things I Don't Love So Much About Japan

I was going to call it 10 Things I Hate, but there aren't really ten things I hate about this country. Really, it's lovely here. That being said though, that doesn't mean there aren't things that are annoying as fu--

1. Your Voice Hurts My Brain
Man, Japanese sound-space is like a battlefield. In America, there's no way in hell you can get away with driving around a truck and blasting politics through a microphone, but it's kind of run-of-the-mill here. And Christ, don't get me started about the girls with the shrill-ass voices advertising their karaoke or izakayas on the street. I'm surprised there aren't dolphins and whales surfacing from the water from hearing that god-damn pitch.

2. Yes, I Do Have Basic Motor Skills
I know there's no bad intent, but I don't need to be praised with wide-eyes every time I use chopsticks or sit in the seiza position...can't most people?

3. Too Much Wrapping
Man do they waste paper here when it comes to wrapping food. I thought Kyoto protocol was some serious stuff! Save the environment, right? Then why the hell are these cookies individually wrapped?

4. Does No One Speak English in This Immigration Office?
This is probably the only item on the list that actually made me furious. Yeah, I get it, this is Japan, the language is Japanese, that's all fine. But if you work at an immigration office and there's no one in your department that speaks English, shit, there's a problem, man. I mean, isn't it implied that you deal with, y'know, immigrants? I got fed up at one point and had the following conversation with the man behind the counter:
"Do you speak English?"
- "No." (in Japanese)
"Parlez-vous Français?"
-"...No?"
"Se puede hablar Espanol?"
-"...No."
"Then how about I be the one standing on that side of the counter."
Well he didn't understand that either, of course. I had to put Ken on the line to explain my situation.

5. Better Catch That Last Train
Why the hell does the biggest metropolis on the face of the planet not have a 24-hour transportation system? Even Montreal does night buses. Not only do the trains in Tokyo stop even earlier during weekends, but there's just no way around once they're done with, with the sole exception being...

6. Taxis That Cost A Gazillion Yen
Grabbing a cab in Tokyo is shamefully expensive. They start off a 710¥ (8-9$) right off the bat and climb pretty high. Unless you need to be somewhere, better consider spending the night out or sleeping at McDonald's.


7. This Sausage Tastes Like Plastic
No really, Japanese wieners are no good at all.

8. I Refuse to Live in a Closet
No reference to homosexuality intended. What I mean is, real-estate in Tokyo is ridiculously expensive - the most expensive in the world in fact. When I first moved into Hermit Fortress, my current apartment, I thought of it as rather small. I was shocked when I invited guests over and they commented on the place being "spacious," and "large." I was raised in a country with few people and lots of land, and here I am in its exact antithesis, paying 800$ for 25 square meters.


9. Rush Hour Trains
Oh hell no. It's rush hour and I'm boarding the train from Shinjuku. I pretty much have to resign myself to enduring a shitty ride like something out of public transport in hell. Everyone's so close that I can feel someone's ass on my leg and the fumes traveling upwards straight into my nose as he farts, sending vibrations through my pants. Someone else's teeth are on my shoulder, but I'll have to forgive him, because he can't move. Oh, sorry my eyelashes are brushing your underarms as I blink, I would move my head back but I can't because the girl behind me is already bending over backwards so far that her nose is in some guy's ball sack, which he tucked between his legs because or else they'd be resting upon that school boy's hat.


10. The Other Gaijin
Generally speaking, I feel good about the people I work with, seeing as most of the time I do agree with who gets hired. Man, a lot of people who come to Japan are...freaky. Sure, I love my video games and I've read my share of comics, but some of the people who make it here are just obsessive about niche cultural elements, or bring the things I disliked about North America with them all the way here. I really tend to stay away from Roppongi for that reason.

Interesting Tidbits: 10 Things I Love About Japan

1. Convenience Stores
They're actually convenient. And conveniently numerous. You almost certainly can't walk 5 minutes in any direction without seeing one within the major cities. Also, the food they sell won't give you chlamydia in your mouth (their ready-made meals are actually pretty tasty!)

2. He Bowed to Me!
Tokyo people are just polite, man. They're quick on the draw when it comes to apologizing, and it's pretty much guaranteed that any store clerk or receptionist will great you with a "welcome" as you enter the building, hand you your change directly to your hand and will speak to you with up-most politeness in general. And all the bowing!

3. This Train Goes Everywhere
Yes, it does! You can catch a train from pretty much any freaking place in the city in Tokyo. It's so perfect to be able to get anywhere in a flash. Once you figure out how to use them efficiently, the trains will be the best tool in your arsenal.

4. I'm Thirsty, Now
There's an abundance (over-abundance?) of vending machines in every alleyway. Not only do they sell drinks that are way cheap in comparison to North America (1$ for a can of coke for instance) but they also sell warm drinks such as hot chocolate! You can grab a drink anywhere at any time for cheap. Ideal.

5. Damn This is Tasty
Food! Japanese food is delicious and for the most part healthy, and doubly so when done in Japan. It's easy to fall victim to sushi cravings after you've been to half-decent places a couple of times. 

6. Hot Springs
Onsen baths are the shit. Once you get over the fact that you're bathing naked with a bunch of other dudes, it's just relaxing to dip in at the end of a long trip (or whenever you want, really) for a cheap price and just soak in the therapeutically hot waters.

7. All This Crazy Shit
You don't have to walk very far to see people dressed crazy, crazy billboards, crazy restaurants, and all this crazy shit in general. Man, Japan is just so interesting, it's hard not to find it charming. It certainly will keep you from getting bored if you ever feel like you want to break the routine by, say, eating behind bars.

8. You Call This Winter?
The Winter in Tokyo is quite mild, despite every Japanese person you'll cross on the street shivering and sneezing and saying "it's cold!" while running hurriedly. I know where I'm from.

9. This is Oddly Pleasant
The standard Japanese toilet is a "washlet." They do everything related to helping you, frankly, shit comfortably. They're warm when you sit on them, they're cleaner, they have bidets with controllable water-pressure. They're just awesome.

10. Culture
And of course, Japan's a country with history, and the Japanese are proud of it. That there's so much in this society based on honor harkens to the days of the samurai code. Temples and shrines and ancient shops and traditions are testimony to the cultural wealth of this country.


D'aww, isn't that nice!
Well, the list of things I don't quite like is coming up too.

Interesting Tidbits: Denizens of the Train

Rain season's just about over! I can finally get back out there and start adventuring again, but I figure I've been wanting to write about this one thing for a while. Let me talk to you about the

DENIZENS OF THE TRAIN.

We Tokyoites frequent them every day. They're numerous, and come in many shades and colors. Some are friendly! Neighborly, common, run of the mill people! Benign and neutral! But others dwell in shadows and are capable of an unspeakable evil. With the help of this simplified lexicon, let's break them down into categories (and even subcategories!) for reference and consultation. 

And so here are some of the Particular Denizens.

ENTRY 1: THE SEAT HOG
Don't act like you've never been one.

1.1 THE HUNTER

Their eyes dart left to right as they scan their environment. The Hunter has only one thing in mind: to gain a seat in the train. Men and women who in the outside world are regular folks understandably turn into feral creatures when placed in an overcrowded train during rush hours, and that's fair game. Some of them are seasoned Hunters, whose asses come down upon seats at the speed of light. Others can only aim for such grace and agility. But there's no foul play here, unless...

1.2 THE RENEGADE

Uh-oh! The foul Renegade! These bastards hog seats amongst the weak and dispirited! They aim for seats in the Courtesy section, dedicated for people who are either old, pregnant, or handicapped in some other way. But that's not all. Though the Courtesy seats are not always full of people in need of them, a true Renegade doesn't give up his seat when one of these come by. Many Renegades pretend to sleep or to be reading without noticing. What foul play indeed! 
 

ENTRY 2: THE SLEEPER
Because the train's a giant rocking chair.

Two Common Sleepers flanking me. One more if you look in the reflection in the glass.

2.1: THE COMMON SLEEPER

They're 30% of the people sitting in the train at any given moment. I'm often one of them! The Common Sleeper is a benign denizen, usually very quiet, and bothers no one. These sleepers sleep lightly enough that they can easily wake up at their own stop. 

2.2: THE LEANER

Egad! But watch out! Though the Common Sleeper is harmless, all Sleepers can turn into Leaners within the blink of an eye! Leaners are characterized by their leaning on people when they sleep - an involuntary and often embarrassing habit, but amusing to watch. You've probably heard of or seen the stereotypical cute girl falling asleep upon the shoulder of a balding old guy. It happens!

2.3: THE HEAVY SLEEPER

The Heavy Sleeper may have ingested some alcohol, for they are those who have fallen into a deep and irreversible coma-like slumber. Many times have I tried to wake one at the terminal of a train-line, to no avail, leaving them to the mercy of the station-staff. Heavy Sleepers often sprawl across several train seats, or even upon the floor of the train. They run a heavier chance than Common Sleepers of turning into Leaners.

ENTRY 3: HORDES
The Sleeper's natural adversary.

3.1. THE HAGHORDE
A Haghorde is more of a force of nature than a human thing. Late at night, near stations where young people accumulate, a Haghorde is bound to form. When many young college girls or club-goers (most often female) enter a train together, they bring with them an unceasing cacophony and form a Haghorde. The Haghorde can be heard within the whole wagon, their voices merging as one and hitting all ranges of sound, in such a way that they can never not be heard. Haghordes are most often formed by young women, but the less common male variant also exists. This is called a FAGHORDE, and won't get its own entry in this lexicon.
3.2. THE BROODLINGS
A similar occurrence often occur when young elementary school boys pile into a train. Broodlings bring with them the same ill-effects as Haghordes, but are more frequent during daylight hours. However, they can easily be dispelled by any one above 5 feet tall who kindly tells 'em to shut up and bring their noise elsewhere.

ENTRY 4: CHIKAN

The elusive grubby-hands.

If you see/feel one, scream!

 4.1. THE GROPER
The Chikan, otherwise known as the Groper, has shaped the face of train-security across Japan. It is because of he that women must be kept safe inside Women-Only wagons during rush hours, for fear that the Chikan's legendary grubby hands might reach for a handful of their buns, so to speak.

 Alright, in truth, Gropers aren't laughingstock. They're a serious problem in Japan, and, though I've never seen one myself, many of my female colleagues have had their asses grabbed by gropers. Traditionally, these men (and they're definitely 99% men) stand amongst others in a crowded train and just go for the apple. You can see posters all over. "Groping is a crime!" they read, as if everyone is potentially a Chikan.

So that's the gist of them! Did I forget any? If so, let me know and I'll update!

Interesting Tidbits: It's Typhoon Season

Courtesy of sciencecodex.com

Oh hey guys! What have you got to look forward to tomorrow?
 Well I've got this charming fellow to the left. That's Tropical Storm Yagi cruising around the shores. Yagi's actually not so terrible for one of his kind. I guess if you look at him on a picture like that he looks worst than he is. He won't kill anyone or destroy any houses or flip any cars, but he may stop a few trains from running and make a few salarymen curse. Is it a big deal? No.
 It's typhoon season, folks. Everyone's expecting it to rain for every damn day in June, and that's the way it is every month of June. June is rainy, end of that. We'll be seeing tropical storms flying north and south and every which way, making it quite hard indeed to plan much for the coming few weeks (not that I don't have any plans. I have a few exciting ones.)

Me, wet and miserable last year's season.

So how does the rainy season affect our daily lives? Well, attendance at the gym sure as hell drops. I often get sent home early so that I can catch the trains before they jam when the storms get really bad. The streets become a graveyard of flipped umbrellas. Also, I get wet.
 But as it is, Japan's just prone to hurricanes and typhoons and all matter of storms throughout the year, not just in June (although that's when we come to expect the mother-lode to hit.) In fact, hurricane Jelawat, the terrible one that flipped cars during its wake, hit on September last year. I was outside that day.
 We'll see though. So far the weather hasn't been bad at all. But the rain outside will only worsen as Yagi comes around, and every person in Tokyo can do nothing but bend over the table for a whole month.

Interesting Tidibts: White Day

Happy White Day, everybody!

 Oh, where you unaware? You don't know what White Day is, you say?

I don't think this quite gets my good side.

  Everyone knows White Day is the second part to Valentine's Day, of course. At least, here in Japan it is. Allow me to explain how it all works in this country.
 You see, on Valentine's Day, in Japan, women give chocolate to men. That's just the way it is. Hell, women even give chocolate to men they don't even like, labeled as giri choko, or obligation chocolate. It's a trend that's seen in most workplaces. Even I received chocolate from the kids during my otherwise not very eventful Valentine's Day.
 But you see, it goes a step deeper than that, even. One month after Valentine's, on the 14th of March, comes White Day, where men are expected to return gifts two to three times more valuable than what was given to them. Cruel, how things work, isn't it. Especially considering that White Day, unlike Valentine's, has no religious or historical significance whatsoever. It was made up and commercialized by sweets companies. And the people gobbled it up.

 No pun intended.

Interesting Tidbits: Resources

Good work, Sean! You survived this far!

Hey there. You. Reader!
 As it turns out, most of my readership lately has been people from within Japan. Not that this blog is big or anything, but this started out as just a little something to keep my friends and family back in Canada updated. If you're reading from Japan, I'm assuming you're a workmate or a friend, with maybe the rare case of a stray foreigner looking for something to do, possibly even to have an adventure of your own.
 If you're a reader from abroad or from Canada, you may be thinking of coming here to visit, or possibly to settle for a long-term like I did. I might've made it look easier than it is, but it's not exactly rocket science either.

If you're any of the above, here's a handout. It's great stuff.


  

1. METROPOLIS MAGAZINE
  Ideal for: Adventurers, Lonely People, Nihongo Enthousiasts
 Metropolis is how I met Ken and Mori both. It's a massive hub for foreigners to do...everything. The classifieds section comes in handy for all the things listed above. There are numerous reviews about things to do or places to visit in Tokyo. It's also where many Japanese people try to reach out and get in contact with foreigners, notably for language exchange. The magazine exists in physical form, but it's much more convenient to just use the website right here. Metropolis offers a small classifieds section for people looking for a job, but the better place to look for that would be...

2. GAIJIN POT
Ideal for:  Job-Seekers
  When I needed a job, I was referred to Gaijin Pot. And then I got one. It was that easy. Although the website offers everything Metropolis has, I personally find it a lot more useful for the purposes stated above. Within GaijinPot, one can make a profile and resume that is readable by any potential employer. Many employers looking for English-speakers put their business's profile up for people to apply to as well. My Gym happened to be there - I sent them my resume, and my former-boss-turned-adventuring-buddy Nana called me up to set an interview. I owe that to Gaijin Pot.

craigslist

3. CRAIGSLIST
Ideal for: Home-Making
  Okay, okay. I can hear you sigh already. Yeah, I know. In North America you use Craigslist to find a cheap hooker. You could probably do that in Tokyo, too. But Tokyo Craigslist has a lot to offer for someone in need of second-hand furniture or home electronics. I got most of what I own from craigslist. For those of you unfamiliar with it, it's a website where people sell or give stuff away from hand to hand. All you have to do is figure out where to meet and how you're transporting the goods.

4. Meet-Up
Ideal for: Lonely People, Adventurers, Nihongo Enthousiasts...and Meeting Me.

Look at me, I can make friends! [photo taken by Aala]

Yeah, I listed the same things under Metropolis, but Meet-Up offers it in a different way. If I'm looking for something to do, just open up Meet-Up and see if anyone threw an event together that's to your liking. There are hundreds of groups that plan events big or small, and I've met quite a few of my current friends from Meet-Up as well.
 But tell you what, on top of all that, if you want to hang out with me sometime, then just join me at one of Aala's events. They're cheap as hell, and they're great for meeting people.
Even I may occasionally create an event in that group. And you know I like to go to crazy, adventurous, interesting places and do silly shit.
 So join us.

NOTE: As of 2014, Aala has stepped down
from making events, and I attend much less often as well. 
 
And there you have! Your Tokyo-survival kit. Thank me not.

Interesting Tidbits: A Lesson on Diet

If I look this happy it's got to be deliberate.

Hey, don't judge. There's lots you can learn in a children's science museum. Ken and I mostly went in here for shits and giggles. You can get in for free, since this place is government funded so that Japanese children don't end up fat and stupid. Well done, Japan. A certain few other countries could profit from such initiative.
 For the most part, the museum in Fukuoka is dedicated to health and to simple sciences, but what I wanted to share was what I thought was relevant to Japanese culture.

 I thought this was pretty neat: the place has a cafeteria where all the food is made of plastic. Basically, you grab a tray, put a bunch of food on it that you would likely get, and head to one of the dedicated computers. There, it tells you about your meal: if it had an excessive amount of calories for your size and age, if it was well balanced, contained the appropriate amount of meat, vegetables, and so on. Here, let's try!

Shit, at least I was being honest.

 Uh-oh. "Well, see, Sean," this computer tells me, "your shitty choice of food is too rich in meat and is terribly fattening." With that kind of result, it's a surprise I haven't gained a kilo since arriving here. Well, it's a good thing I spend so much time jumping around both inside of work and out.

Oh my God, no soft drink?

See, Ken's meal has a bunch more items on it, but is actually very typically Japanese. It looks like something you'd get out of a teishyoku (set meal) in a Japanese restaurant. And the results actually show that this kind of meal is actually conducive to losing weight.
 If you take a good look around you while standing in any crowded place in Japan, you notice a considerable difference in terms of the number of overweight people. There's approximately five times less obesity here that in Canada. Eureka! Could it be possible that burning more calories than you eat might make you lose weight? Shiiiit.

Interesting Tidbits: Seasonal Flavors

The four seasons are felt differently here than they are in Montreal, from where I hail. People co-ordinate the colors they wear more closely to the seasons, I fill, and so, too, do the flavors change in accordance.
 Although big names in junk food such as the Coca Cola Company and Nestle are, obviously, American, the Japanese market sees a greater variety due to the local branches trying to appeal to the seasonal inclinations of the populace.
Pictured are White Pepsi and Watermelon Pepsi, for Winter and Summer respectively.

Anecdotely, I was told about White Pepsi before coming to Japan, and I remember it kind of perplexing me. It must be awfully chemical, I thought, to have that color. But then again, if regular Pepsi were white and they released a seasonal black one, I'd have probably had the same thought in reverse. Interestingly enough, White Pepsi is clementine flavored.
 Kit-Kat bars also change with the seasons here, also being available in Strawberry and Green Tea varieties depending on the time of the year. The more you know!