All Aboard

Boarding with Dario, his wife Kikuko, and Ken.

In a country so dependent on its train system, it can't be helped that there are more than just a handful of train fans. There are literally people here who devote themselves to knowing everything there is to know about Japan's trains, and kids are all about their miniatures. And where there is fandom, there is profit to be made.
 Little TGV is a restaurant in Akihabara appealing to such people. As you enter, a girl in a conductor's uniform will invite you "on board", seat you, and give you a menu.

Of course there's a miniature in the corner of the room.

Every item is a station or train line - and the price is the fare. At a glance, the place is pretty neat, with vintage train-related pictures and
paraphernalia just about covering every inch of wall. It's the little things such as the coats hanging from luggage racks, and the all-too-familiar seats that bring out the theme the best. The waitresses themselves have a handful of puns or idioms that fit the theme as well, saying things like "your food is arriving to destination." (which is as close a translation as I can make.) Apparently, overhearing them talk to other customers, the waitresses are pretty savvy about trains too. They probably share that in common with their clientele.

Like most places like this, you can't really expect to be dazzled by the food though. It's alright, and, thankfully, not overpriced. People pay in for the setting more than what they'll actually eat. Unlike most themed restaurants, Little TGV doesn't do much to make the food fit the theme, and the small attempts they do make are kind of laughable at best ("isn't this kind of shaped like train tracks?")
However, the combo platters do come in little trains! Choo-choo. It's like I'm five all over again!

I had a good time, but there isn't all that much to be said about this one. I'm dry already. If you have in mind to try it out, you'll find Little TGV is a light but legitimate themed-restaurant. And heck, if you don't like it, there are actually a bunch more scattered around Tokyo that may or may not be more kooky and exciting.

Consider a Boat!

This here's the shit!

I just got back from a trip to Oshima island, a little south of Tokyo. I'll post about that soon enough, but what I wanted to share is that since coming to Japan, it's pretty much been my first time using any kind of seafaring transportation, and the trip has opened my eyes to the whole thing. My adventure riding second class on the (sigh) S.S. Salvia, a ship with a name sounding a lot worst than it actually is, and having nothing related to hallucinogenic drugs, taught me a lot of the joy of traveling around in Japan by boat. So let's break it down.

Where the corpses go.

It's relatively easy to forget that Japan's composed of hundreds, maybe thousands of little islands outside of the main landmass. Though they're mostly accessible by means of the train system, some of them are pretty remote. That's where the ferries come in, and they do a pretty good job at it. Though I've only taken one for a relatively short trip, some are available that cruise from one province to another over the course of many days. No matter the size of your trip, though, the ships are equipped for comfortable traveling (proportional to the amount you're willing to pay) and even a little extra.
 When it comes to traveling overnight, all the ferries provide you the option of either sleeping on the ground with a pillow (for the cheapest fare,) a seat, a dorm room, or a private room. The ships are also equipped with showering facilities, and some even offer restaurants and, from what I hear, public baths as well. Of course, the longer the duration of the trip, the more room there is for a little luxury. There are plenty of televisions available for those who need their fix, and simple distractions such as a deck of cards or boardgames are sold on board.
 My favorite thing about riding the ferry, though, is probably the simple pleasure of standing on deck and enjoying the sea breeze while looking out at the horizon. You just don't get that elsewhere!

Interesting Tidbits: Denizens of the Train

Rain season's just about over! I can finally get back out there and start adventuring again, but I figure I've been wanting to write about this one thing for a while. Let me talk to you about the

DENIZENS OF THE TRAIN.

We Tokyoites frequent them every day. They're numerous, and come in many shades and colors. Some are friendly! Neighborly, common, run of the mill people! Benign and neutral! But others dwell in shadows and are capable of an unspeakable evil. With the help of this simplified lexicon, let's break them down into categories (and even subcategories!) for reference and consultation. 

And so here are some of the Particular Denizens.

ENTRY 1: THE SEAT HOG
Don't act like you've never been one.

1.1 THE HUNTER

Their eyes dart left to right as they scan their environment. The Hunter has only one thing in mind: to gain a seat in the train. Men and women who in the outside world are regular folks understandably turn into feral creatures when placed in an overcrowded train during rush hours, and that's fair game. Some of them are seasoned Hunters, whose asses come down upon seats at the speed of light. Others can only aim for such grace and agility. But there's no foul play here, unless...

1.2 THE RENEGADE

Uh-oh! The foul Renegade! These bastards hog seats amongst the weak and dispirited! They aim for seats in the Courtesy section, dedicated for people who are either old, pregnant, or handicapped in some other way. But that's not all. Though the Courtesy seats are not always full of people in need of them, a true Renegade doesn't give up his seat when one of these come by. Many Renegades pretend to sleep or to be reading without noticing. What foul play indeed! 
 

ENTRY 2: THE SLEEPER
Because the train's a giant rocking chair.

Two Common Sleepers flanking me. One more if you look in the reflection in the glass.

2.1: THE COMMON SLEEPER

They're 30% of the people sitting in the train at any given moment. I'm often one of them! The Common Sleeper is a benign denizen, usually very quiet, and bothers no one. These sleepers sleep lightly enough that they can easily wake up at their own stop. 

2.2: THE LEANER

Egad! But watch out! Though the Common Sleeper is harmless, all Sleepers can turn into Leaners within the blink of an eye! Leaners are characterized by their leaning on people when they sleep - an involuntary and often embarrassing habit, but amusing to watch. You've probably heard of or seen the stereotypical cute girl falling asleep upon the shoulder of a balding old guy. It happens!

2.3: THE HEAVY SLEEPER

The Heavy Sleeper may have ingested some alcohol, for they are those who have fallen into a deep and irreversible coma-like slumber. Many times have I tried to wake one at the terminal of a train-line, to no avail, leaving them to the mercy of the station-staff. Heavy Sleepers often sprawl across several train seats, or even upon the floor of the train. They run a heavier chance than Common Sleepers of turning into Leaners.

ENTRY 3: HORDES
The Sleeper's natural adversary.

3.1. THE HAGHORDE
A Haghorde is more of a force of nature than a human thing. Late at night, near stations where young people accumulate, a Haghorde is bound to form. When many young college girls or club-goers (most often female) enter a train together, they bring with them an unceasing cacophony and form a Haghorde. The Haghorde can be heard within the whole wagon, their voices merging as one and hitting all ranges of sound, in such a way that they can never not be heard. Haghordes are most often formed by young women, but the less common male variant also exists. This is called a FAGHORDE, and won't get its own entry in this lexicon.
3.2. THE BROODLINGS
A similar occurrence often occur when young elementary school boys pile into a train. Broodlings bring with them the same ill-effects as Haghordes, but are more frequent during daylight hours. However, they can easily be dispelled by any one above 5 feet tall who kindly tells 'em to shut up and bring their noise elsewhere.

ENTRY 4: CHIKAN

The elusive grubby-hands.

If you see/feel one, scream!

 4.1. THE GROPER
The Chikan, otherwise known as the Groper, has shaped the face of train-security across Japan. It is because of he that women must be kept safe inside Women-Only wagons during rush hours, for fear that the Chikan's legendary grubby hands might reach for a handful of their buns, so to speak.

 Alright, in truth, Gropers aren't laughingstock. They're a serious problem in Japan, and, though I've never seen one myself, many of my female colleagues have had their asses grabbed by gropers. Traditionally, these men (and they're definitely 99% men) stand amongst others in a crowded train and just go for the apple. You can see posters all over. "Groping is a crime!" they read, as if everyone is potentially a Chikan.

So that's the gist of them! Did I forget any? If so, let me know and I'll update!

Interesting Tidbits: The Tokyo Transit

Far more commonly used than the cars or the buses in Tokyo are the trains. The Tokyo subway system is efficient and expedient, and is easily used by several millions of people everyday. 
Many people outside of Japan have heard of the train packers in Tokyo, who stuff people into trains so that the doors will close. You'd be surprised how tightly people can pack themselves into a train without any help. I'll always remember the time when I first witnessed rush hour in Shinjuku station. The train doors opened to reveal a wall of people, a solid mass of writhing humanity. "Fitting in there would be impossible," I told myself, but then I saw it: a man stepped out from behind me, reached into the human wall, grabbed hold of a handle within the train, and pulled his body into the gibbering mass, pulverizing and twisting his body as he merged with the hive. The doors closed and the train left, and I thought I had witnessed a bizarre and unique form of suicide.
 At any rate, the train system took me quite a while to get used to at first. Here's a breakdown of it all: three major companies run the trains in Tokyo: they are Tokyo Metro Co, Japan Railways (JR), and the Governmental Bureau of Transportation (Toei.) Between the three of them combined, in the Greater Tokyo Metropolitan Area alone, the run 45 train/subway lines. FORTY. FIVE. LINES.

Go on, try to put that on your god damn shirt.

And that 45 doesn't count the private railways like the Nippori-Toneri liner and the Tsukuba Express. There are at least 20 of those, too.
 Adding to the confusion are two elements:
1: There are express trains that don't stop at every station. Oh, not just "express trains" mind you, there are those, and the "commuter express", "special express" and "limited express". That's four different types of express trains that stop at different stations. Better get on the right one.
2: Some trains shift lines after a certain point. Better know where you're going.
 That's about it in a nutshell. It took around two months for me to get used to it. See how well you can do.