The Darndest Things II

Another year and another list of amazing quotes from the kids (or about the kids!) at my workplace.

Coworker: It's time for introductions, everyone! I'll start with myself: my name is Mama.
Naoya (4yo): You're not Mama!
Coworker: Why not?
Naoya: Because Mama is, Mama is, Mama is, Mama is, Mama is, Mama is, Mama is a woman.

Daiki (9yo): (While on the high bar) Sensei, get me down!
Sean: Why, Daiki?
Daiki: My penis is all smooshed.

Coworker: So I heard something got smooshed last time, eh Daiki.
Daiki: HAHAHAHAH. *punches another kid in the crotch*

Sean: Jump really high and throw your arms up, like you want to punch the sky.
Yassu (5yo): I can jump so high I go into space.

Sean: This is how you do a proper push-up.
Yassu: I can do a million.

Sean: Okay everyone. This is a challenge round. Let's see who can dive over three bolsters.
Yassu: I can dive over twenty of those.

Khanya (5yo, boy, while cupping his Seongjun's face in his hands): You're beautiful, Seongjun.
Seongjun (5yo, boy): Yeah!

Sean: So if I ever drop by Korea, can I drive your car?
Seongjun: No. I will drive. I will drive when I am 75 years old. And I will die when I am 95 years old.

Nagi (3yo): ROAR.
Sean: Meow.
Nagi: ROAR.
Sean: Woof.
Nagi: ROAR.
Sean: Baaaaaah.
Nagi: ROAR.
Sean: Oink Oink.
Nagi: ROAR.
Sean: Honk.
Nagi: ROAR.
Sean: Toooooot.
Nagi: ROAR.
 This went on for a solid two minutes.

Coworker 1: She's so cute, isn't she? That girl, Nagi.
Sean: Nagi's a boy.

Coworker 2: I told Nagi's mom that she did a good job today.
Sean: Nagi's a boy.
Coworker: What? Shit!

Sean: Good boy, Nagi!
Ayumi (4yo): You're silly. Nagi's a girl.
Sean: Nagi's a boy.
(Nagi's mother looking dissatisfied in the corner.)

Coworker: Hey! What's your name?
Kazuto (4yo): Triceratops! (runs away.)

(Kazuto pushes his friend, who falls face first and lies on the mat crying.)
Sean: Kazuto, he's your friend. We don't hurt our friends, right?
Kazuto: (Goes on his knees and presses his butt against the wall as high as possible) I don't have any friends!

Sean: Who wants to try this first?
Maria (10yo): Me please!
Sean: Alright, let's go, Maria.
Maria: Oh, no...I thought Daiki would say it louder. I don't actually wan-
Sean: Oh just do it.
Maria: That's sad.

Maria: Wingardium Leviosuh.
Sean: It's "Leviosaaaahh."
Maria: Wait, you know about that video? It's disgusting.
Sean: What video?
Maria: Wait, oh, never mind.
Sean: Swish and flick.
Maria: So you do know!
Sean: What?
Maria: Wait...what? Never mind.
I totally know about the video.