Brief Note: My Empire Expands

My good friend Devin bought a shirt. Doesn't it look great? You should get one too.

Anecdote: Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas guys, and happy holidays and all that. This picture was taken and put up together by my workmate.
Anecdotally, I was Santa Claus for the Christmas party we hosted for the babies. When I walked out the door, they started screaming and crying hysterically, because I looked like some kind of big red monster to them with my beard. Parents, on the other hand, were laughing out loud at the world's smallest Santa Claus. It was either gonna be me or a woman, so you play with the hand you're dealt, right?

Hoot Hoot!

That's one handsome bird.

No, it's not stuffed. That's an honest-to-god owl perched on my shoulder. It's real, quite lively, and will kindly nibble at your finger if you try to touch his chest.
 "But Sean!" says you. "That's a wild animal! It'll claw your eyes out!" Well, in normal circumstances, yes. But you see, this is an Owl Cafe! It's an interesting concept. Come in, have a drink, and play with a bunch of owls of varying sizes. They're sprouting up all around Japan, and Tokyo got its own not so long ago. This particular one is located in Tsukishima. That's rather convenient for me. I walk there quite easily.
 A fair warning! It's not all that easy to get in. The place has enough space for 10 people standing. You can't reserve by phone, so you have to actually get to the place, reserve, and then come back later in the day at the appointed time. It's not likely you'll manage to walk in. At least not during a weekend.

But that aside, once you do get it, it's quite a treat! There are a dozen different owls of varying sizes and species. Once everyone is seated and has ordered a drink (which is a requirement), the rules are spoken, and they're pretty reasonable. Treat the animals kindly. Don't cause panic. Ask if you want to hold an owl. And, most especially, don't let the big guys next to the small guys. Big owls eat smaller birds. That'd suck.
 Actually, all the owls in the owl cafe are actually for sale! They'll all cost you a fortune though, with the biggest ones a whopping 500,000¥. That's around 5800$ or so.
 Handling the owls made me think they're quite nice for pets, though! They're quiet, they don't smell, and they're pretty bad-ass to top it all off. The owls in the cafe are all docile and thoroughly domesticated, so they're very easy to handle and don't tend to shy away from being touched, held, or perched on your body.
Do I recommend a visit? Hell yes I do. Set aside the initial hassle of getting in, the place will only run you down a mere 800¥ or so, and that nets you a whole hour. You really can't go wrong.

47 Ronin - Some Skepticism Please

The other Ronin, not so important!

Ken's about to leave for Fukuoka this year as he does annually. I got to meet up with him before his departure, and we hit the movies and watched 47 Ronin. Heard of it? It's one of (if not the first?) Hollywood movie to ever get released in Japan's theaters before America's - they usually take several months before making it to this side. But there's a reason for that, you see. If you couldn't guess by the movie title, the movie takes place in Japan! It's based on the famous Japanese story of the 47 master-less samurai who got revenge for their slain lord. You can read about the famous parade celebrating the happening here, but, the story goes,

 "A feudal lord was forced by law to commit suicide after assaulting a court official, leaving his loyal samurai masterless. After a 2 year plot, the samurai in turn avenged their master by slaying the court official and committing suicide themselves. It's a story that's referenced for its connotations of loyalty and determination in the face of duty."

The movie version stars Keanu Reeves alongside a bunch of actual Japanese actors, and that's neat. And I just want to make it clear that I didn't hate the movie. It's entertaining. I took it for what it is - it's a popcorn flick, and I guess you judge those by different standards than you would a movie that earns itself the right to be taken more seriously.
 I don't want to talk about plot (at least, not in detail) or how the actors did or what the movie looks like, but rather...how odd it must be for a Japanese person to look at the movie, think about the well-known actual story, and ponder the differences and similarities.
 In 47 Ronin, Japan is portrayed as a place of magic and fantasy and dragons! And that's alright, right? Medieval Europe is often portrayed the same way. But consider this - the actual story of the 47 Ronin happened in the 18th century. That's...not such a long time ago, folks. George Washington was president of the United States during the 18th century. Whoops!

Legit as fuck.

 The American movie being released in Japan first is a strange way of directing the attention of Japanese viewers to it, in a naive way. It's as if Hollywood was saying, look! Look, Japan! This is what Americans think feudal Japan was like! Or so I felt. Do you get what I mean to say?
 What if Japanese cinema made a movie about the aforementioned George Washington example, and the premise went like this:

"The American Revolutionary War nears its end...but in the face of the Yetis and Bear-Riding British warriors, the revolutionaries head towards bitter defeat. Little is it known, though, that the Great Warlord George Washington, raised by the great bald eagles, has a plan to turn this war on its heels. Armed with his two laser guns, named Freedom and Eagle, George sets forth to battle the British and reclaim peace for his people."

Also, the movie would be in Japanese.

"Father, why are we speaking in English?"

 No, think about it! They just pulled that shit off! What kind of reaction did they expect?
 Ken left the theater really confused, and I can't say my brain drank it all down so easily either. It's not like the movie was bad, it was just, well, queer. But hey! Feel free to check it out and tell me about your own reaction!

The Hotel

Sometimes you don't have to go too far to find exactly what you're looking for. It was a while ago that Ken and I walked by a closed-down capsule hotel on the way to my place, wondering if there was a way in. We tried at it briefly, but to no avail. It was only recently that I decided to try at it again, and had a little more luck.
 Dead of night on a Sunday, I headed there determined to find the one way to lead me in. I headed up the exterior staircase, and from there, climbed onto the roof. Another set of stairs connected to the actual topmost floor, and from there, shimmying through narrow spaces, I managed to find the emergency ladders. Down one floor, and I was looking at another door, with a vent over it.

 I called Lo over, and with a little work, we were in the abandoned capsule hotel. Dario joined us too, and it was time for a little bit of exploration.
And frankly, we found everything in such good condition it was a little scary. Mattresses were laid out in every capsule, in good condition. Televisions were strewn about, a vacuum cleaner and air conditioning unit were still in the building, and the hair styling products sat neatly were they were left. It was as if the place was still in use, if not for the thin layer of dust and the sheer emptiness and silence of the space around us.
I had never even been to a normal, running capsule hotel, so I had myself a bit of a field day with the five floors laid out before me. Exploration time was imminent, and we swept from area to area, looking through every very nook in the place.
 And yet, the building had no interior stairs! How was one to get around?
 But with an elevator of course!

And yes, it turned out the elevator was still running. We were surprised to see it answer to our call as we pressed the button from the fourth floor, doors opening with lights and everything, spilling its glow into the otherwise dark building. Every floor was open to us, and we roamed for the better part of an hour flowing from the capsule floors, into the reception hall, through to the dining area, the office, the employees' lounge area and even the breaker rooms, but the best was yet to come, and we saved that for the very last.

As it turned out, the hotel also had a bath area on the topmost floor, complete with its very own sauna room. It was a bit of an eerie feeling, walking into a place usually so well lit and finding it disused and dry, sitting in the dark. I wondered out loud why there was only one bath area as opposed to two catering to each gender, but capsule hotels are very much facilities used only by men on domestic business trips, and so you'd be hard pressed to find anything servicing women. Come to think of it, there was even only one bathroom per floor.

All in all, the hotel was a good discovery! As it turns out, Tokyo has more abandoned facilities than meets the eye. One has only to look, though.

Interesting Tidbits: Gaijin Eat Gaijin

Most of my friends in Japan are Gaijin - that is to say, foreigners. I have a handful who aren't, but they're a minority. Moreover, they're almost all fluent English speakers who have been raised atypically from Japanese norm. I've met my foreigner friends through others, or through work, but never simply by approaching one and trying to establish a friendship. The prospect of that isn't very interesting to me at all.
That's because I'm a Gaijin-Eating Gaijin. And I'm one of many. It's a little bit of a phenomenon, let me explain to you how it works.

From the Yamanote Line Walk!

You see, like many other Gaijin, I've come to Japan to get a whiff of something new, different from what my life had been like until then. And so far, so good, I'm still loving it here. Culture, food, and sights, everything really, but people especially. The Japanese as a lot are a hard-working people with high standards - so much so that service when it comes to just about anything is incomparable with what you get elsewhere. If you're a paying customer, you're just about God.
 You could say the same about daily life, really. People are respectful enough that you don't ever have a bad day just because some random person decided to be a dick to you. As crowded as downtown Shinjuku is, for instance, you won't get shoved by someone in a hurry.
 But you see, Gaijin have a different set of standards than the Japanese common-folk do, I'm afraid, when it comes to manners and littering for one, but, gasp, I'm gonna say it, a more likely tendency towards crime in general. Was that racist? I'm a Gaijin too. Canadian, by nationality, I'll remind you.
 I tend to avoid Roppongi like I would a pool full of AIDS. I used to go clubbing in Tokyo quite frequently, and, if you like a fun night out I'd recommend it to you too, but all my favorite clubs were outside of Roppongi - Shibuya, Ebisu, and Ageha in Shin-Kiba. Why? Because Roppongi is foreigner turf, man. Everything I liked about clubbing in Tokyo doesn't apply to clubs in Roppongi - they're just worlds trashier. You're more likely to get shoved and cussed out or something, and frankly, if I wanted that, I would've just stayed and clubbed in Montreal. And it's not the Japanese people doing the shoving either.
 Well maybe that's petty, you say. But even that aside, the American Embassy issues warnings about Roppongi. People don't get robbed or killed or assaulted in Tokyo - but when they do it's usually in Roppongi! Who'd have guessed! Me. And it's unsurprising.
 But you know, it has a lot to do with rivalry too. In a room full of Japanese and one other foreigner, I'm always eyeing that guy, seeing if he's up to no good. Maybe he's doing the same. Usually it ends up he's just a pretty normal dude.
 And I'm staunch when it comes to defending this country against Japan-bashers. I'm usually the first one to wonder out loud why the person doesn't just go home when they finish complaining about the country (and once they leave the table.)
 The bottom-line is, I like Japan to be its own thing. I like my coworkers and my friends too, but Japanese society as a whole is a beautiful thing that works well on its own. Yeah, there are flaws, too. I can write articles about the things that don't work as well, but I like Japan better when people aren't turning it into something else. When in Rome, right?

Visa Renewal

It's been a pain in the ass. You wouldn't think it, but renewing a visa is almost as bad as getting one in the first place. Five trips to the hell that is the Tokyo Immigration Bureau it took, and four times did they send me back home. I was wrong to think renewing a long-term visa that was given to me because I had Japanese blood relatives would be easy. Why wouldn't it be? I still had the blood right?
 This time it took:
 -  A document certifying I still worked where I claimed to work.
 - A document showing how much tax I owed to the government.
 - A document certifying I paid said taxes.
 - A document proving I live where I claim to live.
 - A signed document from a guarantor (should I murder someone and flee the country.)
 If you want to know what it took the first time around, you can look here. That's a lot of running around and getting signatures and sheets from the city hall. And once I did round the documents up, they said to me "wait three weeks."
 I waited 7. My visa had expired one month already. After two, you're illegible to get deported. Fun. "Present yourself to the appropriate department should one month go by after the expiration of your visa." So I went.
 And they just gave it to me! To think I was expecting wave upon wave of more bullshit. This next visa doesn't expire until December 2016. I'm good for another three years, Japan. You're not rid of me yet.

Here's to a few more years of adventure!

Silly Inventions 4 - Live Urine Analysis

#4: Live Urine Analysis

Live as in, on the spot. Instant. Walking into the bathroom of an arcade in Osaka, I was caught completely off-guard by this.
It's simple, really. You pee on the target pad and the machine supposedly reads your urine (whether you like it to or not) and tells you something about yourself, on top of quantifying the amount of urine you expelled.
 Mine said I was mostly LOVE and CUTE (as opposed to STINKY and PERVERTED among others.) A lady then appeared in the bottom left, saying "You're totally an Akiba-type." Yeah, it's nonsense to me as much as it is to you, but it sure as hell makes me want to try again.
Of course, I must've looked like a hell of a tourist taking pictures of the screen atop the urinal, but, what the hell.