The Darndest Things

I've now been working at My Gym for a full 50-week cycle. Most of the 900-some kids have seen my face at some point or another, since I've been moving from location to location, sometimes for extended periods of time. Of the current roster of 25 instructors, only 10 people have been working the job longer than I have, 5 of which are in charge of training newbies.
Throughout the last 50 weeks, I've heard my share of fantastic, awesome things from the kids, so I thought I'd share a few. Because kids always say the best...things.

Sean: "Here's a baton. It kind of looks like a magic wand, doesn't it?"
Hina (6yo):  "Abracadabra. You are a poop."

Sean: "Don't you want to do your forward roll, Mayu?"
Mayu (2yo): "No. I hate gymnastics, and I hate you, too."
Sean: "Ouch."
Ema (2yo): "I also hate you, sensei."
Sean: "But I really like you, Mayu."
Mayu: "I don't care. I can't do it, and I won't do it."
Sean: "That's too bad. Try hard on the next one, alright?"
Ema: "Do you like me, too?"
Sean: "Yes, Ema."

Sean: "Alright everyone. Here's how you do a backrocker. First you want to squat down like this. Good job, guys. Hey, Riku, why aren't you doing it?"
Riku (3yo): "You guys look like you're all taking a dump."

Sean: "What's your name?"
Sarah (2yo): "I'm two years old."
Sean: "But what's your name?"
Sarah: "I'm...four years old?"
Sarah's Grandma: "Her name is Sarah."
Sean: "Hi Sarah! Sarah, would you like to tell me your grandma's name?"
Sarah: "Grandma is one hundred and ten years old."

Sean: "Kento. Now's not the time to play. Let's go back to the red circle and listen to sensei."
Kento(2yo): (Furiously screams at the top of his lungs while punching and kicking me.)

Sean: "Nice swinging, Kento!"
Kento (While on a swing): (Furiously screams at the top of his lungs while attempting at punching and kicking me.)

Sean: "We're going to say bye bye to this beanbag, Kento. We're gonna play a different game, now."
Kento: (Furiously screams at the top of his lungs while punching and kicking me.)

Kyoko (My coworker): "Do you remember my name?"
Aruki (4yo): "No."
Kyoko: "It's Kyoko."
Aruki: "Your name should've been 'A Boobie.'"

Sean: "Hey, nice book! What's this animal?" I point at a horse.
Mion (2yo): "That's a horse."
Sean: "You sure that's not a dog?"
Mion: "That's a horse. You're kind of dumb, aren't you, sensei."

Sean: "Today's exercise worked on our strong arms."
Takehiro (7yo): "Triceps, but also our abdominal."
Sean: "Oh wow. You know your stuff."

Lisa (5yo): "Is this you in this picture?"
Sean: "Yeah! You could tell with the costume?"
Lisa: "You look like a strange old man."
Reina (5yo): "Strange old man!"
Lisa: "Strange old man."

Yusuke (6yo): "You kind of look like Snoop Dog."