Consider a Boat!

This here's the shit!

I just got back from a trip to Oshima island, a little south of Tokyo. I'll post about that soon enough, but what I wanted to share is that since coming to Japan, it's pretty much been my first time using any kind of seafaring transportation, and the trip has opened my eyes to the whole thing. My adventure riding second class on the (sigh) S.S. Salvia, a ship with a name sounding a lot worst than it actually is, and having nothing related to hallucinogenic drugs, taught me a lot of the joy of traveling around in Japan by boat. So let's break it down.

Where the corpses go.

It's relatively easy to forget that Japan's composed of hundreds, maybe thousands of little islands outside of the main landmass. Though they're mostly accessible by means of the train system, some of them are pretty remote. That's where the ferries come in, and they do a pretty good job at it. Though I've only taken one for a relatively short trip, some are available that cruise from one province to another over the course of many days. No matter the size of your trip, though, the ships are equipped for comfortable traveling (proportional to the amount you're willing to pay) and even a little extra.
 When it comes to traveling overnight, all the ferries provide you the option of either sleeping on the ground with a pillow (for the cheapest fare,) a seat, a dorm room, or a private room. The ships are also equipped with showering facilities, and some even offer restaurants and, from what I hear, public baths as well. Of course, the longer the duration of the trip, the more room there is for a little luxury. There are plenty of televisions available for those who need their fix, and simple distractions such as a deck of cards or boardgames are sold on board.
 My favorite thing about riding the ferry, though, is probably the simple pleasure of standing on deck and enjoying the sea breeze while looking out at the horizon. You just don't get that elsewhere!

So Many Goldfish

Fancy!

So word on the street had it that Nihombashi Matsui Hall was holding an exhibit showcasing goldfish as modern art. Nihombashi's actually one metro station down from where I live. Sweet deal, right? Let's spend an otherwise empty Saturday morning checking what all the talk is about. I can dig goldfish. I own two. They're named Cabin and With.
 And hey, as it turns out,  the goldfish (or Kingyo as they're called in Japanese) exhibit is actually worth its 10 bucks. Sure as hell, as you'd expect on a Saturday during its opening hour, it was crowded as all hell and worst. But the exposition itself was quite spectacular, featuring somewhere between 20 to 30 different types of goldfish (I didn't know there were any more than five different kinds) in a variety of eye catching or innovative arrangements, complete with complimentary lighting effects. It really made for a rich mood, and I'd imagine it'd have been quite different if not for the crowd.

WHAT IS THE MEANING TO OUR LIVES?

As it turns out, goldfish have always been featured more or less prominently in Japanese art (though not as much as their big cousin the koi fish.) Many examples of old woodblock paintings were put up to help establish the point.
 Nowadays in Japan goldfish appear in different places through different mediums. Why just the other day I was walking down a street where one of the restaurants had them in flower pots outside. It got me wondering whether the same, or this whole exhibit, could ever be seen in North America and still hold the same meaning or catch the same audience.
 I've got to say I enjoyed the hour I spent in the hall altogether, with the highlight probably being the fountain piece pictured above.
On a side note, if you're in Tokyo, the exhibit's up until the third week of September or so! They also serve alcohol in the evening, though I'd stake my money drinks aren't cheap.

A Break From the City

Man my camera doesn't do to good here. Maxine's grown!

It was Nozomi's birthday! Who, you say?
 Well Nozomi's Ken's step-sister. You might've seen her on the blog a few times. Here, and here and here, notably.
 We got festive and drove down to Chiba prefecture, where Erika has moved to in order to settle down with her boyfriend (who happens to be the father of her child, but this is now old news!) An hour's drive from Tokyo, Chiba is a neighboring region a little removed from the city lights. It's spacious. People in Chiba have space. Something I haven't seen in a while.

Erika and Maxine getting ready to dip their feet.

The ladies! Nozomi, Erika, and Zara, Ken's girlfriend.

After some extensive grocery shopping in a super-duper market with lanes four-Seans-wide, we brought the car down a little deeper into the prefecture and settled by the river for a barbecue. It was all kinds of lovely to be able to take it easy with friends in somewhat of a secluded area, away from all the noise. I admit I got a little engrossed in catching tadpoles and frogs and shrimp and fish and whatnot, but it was bit of an escape I needed, and I sure was glad to be there. I hadn't swam since my brother was here last. Maybe I'll forget how.
It was also nice to see Maxine again, who I haven't visited for the past six months or so. She can talk now, so I had to struggle to keep my swearing in check. I hope I did alright.
On a side note, Chiba prefecture kind of strikes me as scenic and nice, as opposed to Tokyo's other neighbor Saitama, which in comparison kind of seems bland and lacking in identity (sorry Saitama people! I know some of you read!) Rent being several times cheaper, a lot of people choose to commute from neighboring prefectures on a daily basis to get to work. I guess it's a considerable trade-off seeing as in you can actually get a house. With a yard.
 All in all, it was a good time, and definitely good to catch up with some friends.

Kasai Rinkai Koen

Summer's been raging on with furious Tokyo heat and most of my friends have undertaken various trips outside of the country. I really had no excuse not to check out Kasai Rinkai Park, located a 10 minutes train ride away from my mighty apartment of Hermit Fortress.

 Actually, the park is also one station down from Disneyland, which unfortunately kind of puts it in its shadow. Lots of people actually haven't heard of this place, despite it being, you may quote me on this, probably the best park I've been to in Japan. It's actually pretty awesome. (And yes, if you put 2 an 2 together, I live 12 minutes away from Disneyland. Surprise! And I still haven't gone yet.)
 There's enough here for you to spend the day. Complete with an aquarium, a birdwatching area and a giant Ferris wheel, the park really has a little something for everyone, be it couples, families, or the odd guy who'll do it solo-dolo.
 I didn't go into the aquarium, which apparently features tuna a lot. I guess that'll come in handy when the species go extinct from over-fishing and they have the last 10 or so. They can then sell them to a rich Japanese guy for loads.

How awesomely scenic!

Personally, the birdwatching area really took me. Surrounding a vast marsh, the area is protected by wooden enclosures through which people can look. Some of the birds will actually come pretty close! There's a whole variety as indicated by the various signboards adorning the place, but it's a bit of a sport for the patient man, which I only rarely am. Still, in the 40 minutes or so I spent, I did manage to catch sight of a few bird-things here and there. (No really, I don't know what's what. Anyone care to help me identify the thing on the left?)

The view from the Diamond and Flower Ferris wheel

 The Ferris wheel, named the Diamond and Flower Ferris wheel after its decorative illuminations, was the world's second tallest at the time of its construction in 2001 (it's still 10th now and the current tallest in Japan) and provides a good view of the surrounding area - including the Disney resorts. From what I gather, you can also see Mount Fuji on a clear day, but I had no such luck. Its whole rotation takes 17 minutes, which is advertised as "maximum kiss time." That's pretty cheeky.



And that was my tour of Kasai Rinkai Koen! Go there! It's nice!

Uncanny Signs 4

Wow! Has it really been a year since I put up more of these? You can check the others here!

14:  No Women Allowed

Location: Fukuoka

Category: Distasteful

Yeah, this dates back quite a bit! Well, it sure gets the message across, but not in a very tasteful way huh?
 Welcome Emos! Prohibited to Womankind!

15:  OnAir!

Location: Ueno

Category: Engrish

What a mess! And this sign's pretty huge, too! And why the hell is waitress spelled with a capital W?
 The Waitress sounds like it could be a monicker for a wrestler. Or a sex position.

16:  Going Out

Location: Shopping bag, lady on train.

Category: Engrish

And this is the second shopping bag in the list. I caught this and my brother and we couldn't stop laughing. It reads;
"Please do not go out with having left me in the house. If I am here, can you go with you? I am unpleasant. I hate it being left."
 Can't blame you for leaving your unpleasant dog at home.

17:  *Pipi!*

Location: Nakano Broadway

Category: Lost in Translation

"I'm Nakano Broadway's Mascot Character PIPI!" reads that sign. Aala's doing his best Pipi face too. Man, what a disaster. Great going, Nakano Broadway.

18:  Theater Poo

Location: Shinjuku

Category: Lost in Translation

And perhaps the most shocking one in the list is this one.

 No better place to go to watch a shitty performance than Theater Poo! All publicity is good publicity, right?

Brief Note: Hide Your Kids

I do not want this.

Interesting Tidbits: 10 Things I Don't Love So Much About Japan

I was going to call it 10 Things I Hate, but there aren't really ten things I hate about this country. Really, it's lovely here. That being said though, that doesn't mean there aren't things that are annoying as fu--

1. Your Voice Hurts My Brain
Man, Japanese sound-space is like a battlefield. In America, there's no way in hell you can get away with driving around a truck and blasting politics through a microphone, but it's kind of run-of-the-mill here. And Christ, don't get me started about the girls with the shrill-ass voices advertising their karaoke or izakayas on the street. I'm surprised there aren't dolphins and whales surfacing from the water from hearing that god-damn pitch.

2. Yes, I Do Have Basic Motor Skills
I know there's no bad intent, but I don't need to be praised with wide-eyes every time I use chopsticks or sit in the seiza position...can't most people?

3. Too Much Wrapping
Man do they waste paper here when it comes to wrapping food. I thought Kyoto protocol was some serious stuff! Save the environment, right? Then why the hell are these cookies individually wrapped?

4. Does No One Speak English in This Immigration Office?
This is probably the only item on the list that actually made me furious. Yeah, I get it, this is Japan, the language is Japanese, that's all fine. But if you work at an immigration office and there's no one in your department that speaks English, shit, there's a problem, man. I mean, isn't it implied that you deal with, y'know, immigrants? I got fed up at one point and had the following conversation with the man behind the counter:
"Do you speak English?"
- "No." (in Japanese)
"Parlez-vous Français?"
-"...No?"
"Se puede hablar Espanol?"
-"...No."
"Then how about I be the one standing on that side of the counter."
Well he didn't understand that either, of course. I had to put Ken on the line to explain my situation.

5. Better Catch That Last Train
Why the hell does the biggest metropolis on the face of the planet not have a 24-hour transportation system? Even Montreal does night buses. Not only do the trains in Tokyo stop even earlier during weekends, but there's just no way around once they're done with, with the sole exception being...

6. Taxis That Cost A Gazillion Yen
Grabbing a cab in Tokyo is shamefully expensive. They start off a 710¥ (8-9$) right off the bat and climb pretty high. Unless you need to be somewhere, better consider spending the night out or sleeping at McDonald's.


7. This Sausage Tastes Like Plastic
No really, Japanese wieners are no good at all.

8. I Refuse to Live in a Closet
No reference to homosexuality intended. What I mean is, real-estate in Tokyo is ridiculously expensive - the most expensive in the world in fact. When I first moved into Hermit Fortress, my current apartment, I thought of it as rather small. I was shocked when I invited guests over and they commented on the place being "spacious," and "large." I was raised in a country with few people and lots of land, and here I am in its exact antithesis, paying 800$ for 25 square meters.


9. Rush Hour Trains
Oh hell no. It's rush hour and I'm boarding the train from Shinjuku. I pretty much have to resign myself to enduring a shitty ride like something out of public transport in hell. Everyone's so close that I can feel someone's ass on my leg and the fumes traveling upwards straight into my nose as he farts, sending vibrations through my pants. Someone else's teeth are on my shoulder, but I'll have to forgive him, because he can't move. Oh, sorry my eyelashes are brushing your underarms as I blink, I would move my head back but I can't because the girl behind me is already bending over backwards so far that her nose is in some guy's ball sack, which he tucked between his legs because or else they'd be resting upon that school boy's hat.


10. The Other Gaijin
Generally speaking, I feel good about the people I work with, seeing as most of the time I do agree with who gets hired. Man, a lot of people who come to Japan are...freaky. Sure, I love my video games and I've read my share of comics, but some of the people who make it here are just obsessive about niche cultural elements, or bring the things I disliked about North America with them all the way here. I really tend to stay away from Roppongi for that reason.

Interesting Tidbits: 10 Things I Love About Japan

1. Convenience Stores
They're actually convenient. And conveniently numerous. You almost certainly can't walk 5 minutes in any direction without seeing one within the major cities. Also, the food they sell won't give you chlamydia in your mouth (their ready-made meals are actually pretty tasty!)

2. He Bowed to Me!
Tokyo people are just polite, man. They're quick on the draw when it comes to apologizing, and it's pretty much guaranteed that any store clerk or receptionist will great you with a "welcome" as you enter the building, hand you your change directly to your hand and will speak to you with up-most politeness in general. And all the bowing!

3. This Train Goes Everywhere
Yes, it does! You can catch a train from pretty much any freaking place in the city in Tokyo. It's so perfect to be able to get anywhere in a flash. Once you figure out how to use them efficiently, the trains will be the best tool in your arsenal.

4. I'm Thirsty, Now
There's an abundance (over-abundance?) of vending machines in every alleyway. Not only do they sell drinks that are way cheap in comparison to North America (1$ for a can of coke for instance) but they also sell warm drinks such as hot chocolate! You can grab a drink anywhere at any time for cheap. Ideal.

5. Damn This is Tasty
Food! Japanese food is delicious and for the most part healthy, and doubly so when done in Japan. It's easy to fall victim to sushi cravings after you've been to half-decent places a couple of times. 

6. Hot Springs
Onsen baths are the shit. Once you get over the fact that you're bathing naked with a bunch of other dudes, it's just relaxing to dip in at the end of a long trip (or whenever you want, really) for a cheap price and just soak in the therapeutically hot waters.

7. All This Crazy Shit
You don't have to walk very far to see people dressed crazy, crazy billboards, crazy restaurants, and all this crazy shit in general. Man, Japan is just so interesting, it's hard not to find it charming. It certainly will keep you from getting bored if you ever feel like you want to break the routine by, say, eating behind bars.

8. You Call This Winter?
The Winter in Tokyo is quite mild, despite every Japanese person you'll cross on the street shivering and sneezing and saying "it's cold!" while running hurriedly. I know where I'm from.

9. This is Oddly Pleasant
The standard Japanese toilet is a "washlet." They do everything related to helping you, frankly, shit comfortably. They're warm when you sit on them, they're cleaner, they have bidets with controllable water-pressure. They're just awesome.

10. Culture
And of course, Japan's a country with history, and the Japanese are proud of it. That there's so much in this society based on honor harkens to the days of the samurai code. Temples and shrines and ancient shops and traditions are testimony to the cultural wealth of this country.


D'aww, isn't that nice!
Well, the list of things I don't quite like is coming up too.